Every once in a while a student enrolls in college and decides to live on campus. Then they get their housing information and it all goes downhill. The moment someone on campus says to you “You know there’s no air in that building, right?” If you’re reading this, I’m sorry that you’re one of those people.
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Your Fans Taking Up All The Outlets.
OK, I need a fan in the window. And I also need one near my desk. And another one by the bed. Wait, I need a couple near the bed. My phone and my laptop are both dying, and I need to plug my printer in so I can print out this paper. And I can’t really see without my desk lamp. But… It’s hot.
2. Your Fans Being So Noisy
Good luck trying to sleep with the sound of blowing in your ear all night. And I hope you can turn your TV volume up past 100 because you’re not going to be able to hear that either. You and your roommate might also have to shout at each other from across the room too. And if you try to call your mom literally all she’s going to say is “What’s that noise in the background?” but you’re not going to hear her.
3. Trying To Find A Comfortable Position
You keep on tossing and turning, until you finally find a comfy spot and settle into that perfect position. But you’ve moved two inches too far from your fan and now you’re sweating. Abort position, move back. It’s going to be hot even when you’re laying in front of the fan but if you get too far it’s intolerable. You have to be uncomfortable and hot.
4. Bonding With Your Roommate Over The Discomfort
“Bro it’s so hot!” – “I knowwwwwwww, I feel like I’m dying!” Is going to be an everyday conversation. Actually, chances are, that’s the only thing you two are going to talk about for the first month or two.
5. Having To Deal With The Noise Outside
Literally it’s Wednesday night, why are you out causing a disturbance fellow college student? There’s no way you don’t have work you can be doing, there is no reason for you to be outside of my dorm building yelling right now, and it’s too hot for me to close my window. Please. Turn down.
6. Being Super Paranoid
If I don’t keep the window open I’ll die of a heat stroke, but… Can people outside see me taking my bra off? These blinds seem a little suspicious.
7. Your Coconut Oil is Always Melted
So maybe this isn’t a problem for everyone, but it should be. Coconut oil is the true key to life, so if you don’t have a jar of it in your dorm room you’re living life wrong. I advise you to take the time after this to research all the reasons you need it. But it’s solid at room temperature, and considering an air condition-less dorm is about a thousand degrees above room temperature, it’s always liquid, which is so much harder to work with.
8. Clothes Make You Hotter
It’s hot and you want to take all your clothes off and sit in your underwear, which may be fine at home, but that doesn’t exactly fly when you have a roommate. When she’s not there though? Everything comes off.
9. Showers
It’s so hot and you can’t do anything without feeling that sticky kinda sweat, like you just came from the gym. You feel like you have to take four showers a day just so you can feel fresh. Even though they’re super tiny and you have to share them with a bunch of other people. On the bright side, you don’t pay the water bill so your mom won’t yell at you for wasting water.
10. There Is Never Going To Be Enough Deodorant
I know this is maybe your third time putting deodorant on in the past hour or so, but you’re going to have to put on some more. Actually, you might as well just take another shower because that’s not gonna mask the sweat.
11. Trying To Get Work Done
Oh, I’m sorry, did you think you were just going to sit down and do your work in peace? Yea, I think not, you either sweat all over your stuff or you sit in front of the fan so your papers can fly all over the place. You choose.
12. It’s Hotter Inside Than It Is Outside
You’re walking across campus thinking “Yes, I just got done class, I can just go sit in my dorm and relax now, it’s so hot out here I can’t wait to lay down.” And then you get to your room and it’s more like “Never mind. I’m good. I’ll just stay outside in the burning hot sun, at least I can get a tan.”
13. Wasted Makeup Skills
I really hope you don’t like wearing makeup everyday because unless you can afford million dollar setting spray, by the time you get out the door, that popping highlight-blush-contour combo you had going on will melt and turn into more of a Neapolitan ice cream look.
14. Your Hair
Do I really need to say more? Not only is it hot, but it is humid. If you’re like me and have curly hair, I feel sorry for you too. But honestly? Big hair, don’t care.
15. Sweating
Seriously it’s gross. You Feel Gross. Nonstop, at all hours.
There’s definitely a bunch more I could think of, but I started sweating again and need to take another shower. And if you sat down to read this, you’re probably in need of the same. Thankfully, fall is approaching.