An Open Letter to That Ex You’re Low-key Proud Of

Dear Ex,

         I know it’s been a while since we last spoke. I know you’re probably wondering why I am writing this letter to you now. There’s a lot I could say…a lot I could ask. I’ve thought about it for a long time. Normally, I can suppress my thoughts about us…about you. Sometimes, though, I’ll overhear someone talking about you or see a post of yours that someone shared, and everything comes rushing back. It took me a long time to get to the point where I could write you this letter. To the point where I could say what I am going to and actually mean it. It doesn’t matter now how things ended between us. Maybe it never did because it takes time to let go no matter what. If things ended well between us, I think it would have taken the same amount of time for me to get here as it would have if things ended badly. It took time to let go of the past. To let go of the future I envisioned for us. It took time for me to be okay with you being okay. I never hated you. I never could, but it hurt like hell to see you doing so well so quickly after things ended between us. I was mad because I wasn’t doing so well. I was mad because I felt like you didn’t care. I felt lied to. I hated that you were doing well, and I hated myself for that. I hated myself for it because I love you. I love you even now, and loving you means wanting the best for you even if that’s not me. So, here I am, no longer mad…no longer hating that you are doing well. It took time, but I want you to know something. I am so f*cking proud of you.

         I want you to know that I am proud of the person you have become. You have grown so much since we first met and even more since we parted ways. I feel honored to have been a witness to that growth because some people will never understand it the way I do. I am proud that you have persevered through the obstacles you’ve faced. I know that it hasn’t been as easy as you’ve made it look. I am proud of you for following your dreams even though not everyone close to you believed in you. I know it’s been hard for you. You’re so strong, and I am so proud of that. I may not be by your side like I always thought I would be, but I hope you know you will always have my support.

         I could hate you for moving on. I could hate you for not dwelling on losing what we had. I could hate you for being okay for those first months when I was a mess. I could carry that hatred with me, but it would be silly. I would only be hurting myself. You meant the world to me. It didn’t take me long to realize that I couldn’t hate you because deep down I was still so proud of you. So, I will reiterate that I am proud of you for carrying on like this didn’t affect you. I am proud of you for staying strong. All I’ve every wanted is for you to be happy, and I can finally see that you are. You are happy and building a future for yourself. I hope you’re proud of that, and I really hope you find someone who will help you continue to grow and be proud of you, too. I just wanted you to know that I am proud, I’m happy for you, and I will always support you.

 

                                                                                                                                                               Forever & Always,

                                                                                                                                                               Your Ex