Bridget's Bachelor Brief: Week 5

(Warning!!!! Contains spoilers from Season 23, Episode 5 of The Bachelor)

This week had some DRAMA!!!

The week started off with a one-on-one date with Heather!!

As we know, due to her JOB TITLE, Heather has never been kissed, so that was a ~fun~ opportunity for the producers to awkwardly zoom in on Colton’s lips during their date. Tension was truly building. It seemed that at least seven opportunities to lean in came up before the two finally went for it…during a fireworks show on the beach, of course! I would expect nothing less. Heather got the rose, and her job title immediately changed to “Has Been Kissed.” Get it, girl!

Shortly after Heather came home, Elyse decides to literally put on her best gown and updo and confront Colton. Basically she was like, “unless you commit to me and only me rn I’m leaving.” Alright, not really, but close enough. Which like, yes, watching the guy you like date 10 other women is not ideal, but that’s kinda the point of The Bachelor. Elyse ended up going home right there on the spot.

The group date included Caelynn, Demi, Hannah B., Hannah G., Katie, Kirpa, Nicole, Onyeka, Sydney, and Tayshia.

The squad went on a journey through which they learned “how to survive in the jungle.” The women were then split up into teams, one including Colton…ooooh. Katie and Nicole were not happy when their teammates Tayshia and Colton snuck away for a make out session. The Hannahs and Demi snuck away and got burgers and wine from the hotel instead of searching for worms…honestly, respect.

The cocktail party that night is where the real drama began. Onyeka confronted Colton, saying that Elyse told her that Nicole said she was only on the show “for the opportunity to get out of Miami.” (Wow, that was a sentence.) And, um, did Elyse just dish out tea and dip out??? OKAY. When all the women got back together, Tayshia STEPPED UP and was like, “interesting…I was there and that’s not what she said.” Yessss, Tayshia!!!

The second one-on-one date went to Cassie. I think everyone is rooting for Cassie. Her and Colton have an obvious connection that most all of the other women talked about. The two couldn’t keep their hands off of each other—they went to a private island and probably said two words to each other??? Cute. The dinner that night included a convo that kinda threw me off, during which Cassie explained that she had to be vulnerable about opening up that she wasn’t a virgin. Seemed a bit odd considering the stigma surrounding Colton’s virginity, but okay. Perhaps there is more to this story. Surprise, surprise, Cassie got the rose.

At the cocktail party, MORE DRAMA between Onyeka and Nicole unfolded. Nicole told Colton that Onyeka was a bully and lied about her, etc., etc. The episode ended with the two literally screaming loud enough that Colton had to intervene. He was not happy… Then they hit us with the TO BE CONTINUED…rude.

So, Elyse was the only woman who went home this week.