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Four Signs you’re Outgrowing a Friendship

Lately, I’ve been thinking of what truly makes a best friend, a best friend. I’ve been evaluating my friendships and wondering whether or not I’m satisfied. Am I willing to give up a friendship of over nine years?

Honestly, I haven’t found the answer yet. However, I do know if I have to evaluate my friendship then that must mean that the root of the problem is lying somewhere. Here are the four signs that made me believe I was outgrowing my friendship.

friends in scrabble letters
Hannah Rodrigo


  1. You no longer have any fun together


Typically, a hangout with my best friend consists of enjoying each other’s presence while watching Tik Tok or movies. Other times it will include doing face masks, playing video games or painting each other’s nails. After not seeing each other for a long while, we were able to do these things again but it just didn’t feel the same.

It wasn’t as fun as it used to be. We sat in uncomfortable silence while watching a movie and while we were playing video games. I felt as if my best friend just felt bored. Of course, an easy solution to this can be finding a new activity together, but that can be difficult when…

  1. Your interests are no longer the same 

It’s no secret that we bond better with people we can relate to and share interests with. If two people are obsessed with Harry Styles, then they can easily come up with various topics of conversation or activities revolving around the fandom that is Harry Styles. 

On the contrary, if one friend is obsessed with Taylor Swift and the other does not care for her, then it can be difficult to come up with conversations. Your best friend should be willing to get to know your interests without criticizing or judging them. If they do not do this, then perhaps it’s time to have a conversation with them. 

  1. Your fights are draining. 

I’ll be honest when I get into fights with my best friend whether through texting or in person, they take a long time to resolve. This is both due to my over-explaining and her bringing up small fights that we had in the past. If you find yourself just settling for the sake of the conversation being finished with, this may be a sign you’re outgrowing your friendship. 

You want your arguments to be balanced. You should both still be respectful while being heard. Though, never be afraid to voice your side and why you feel the way you do. 

  1. They haven’t grown. 

There have been plenty of times where we have all given our best friend’s advice. But what about all those times that you gave them advice and they didn’t listen? If you are continually seeing that your best friend is making the same mistakes and not listening to your advice, then this could be frustrating for you. 

You may feel as if your advice is just useless, especially if you’ve been asked to give it countless times and it hasn’t been heard. It’s okay to feel frustrated with this because we are all human beings, so it’s understandable.

two different people's arms reach out in front of the St. Louis arch, their pointer finger and middle fingers coming together to make a heart
Jennifer Burk | Unsplash

All in all, if you feel like you’re outgrowing a friendship, take some time to reflect. Are you experiencing some of the same signs as listed above? If so, take some time to make a list of the pros and cons of your friendship. 

Friends are essential to life. They are the people who get you through your hard times and who you can kick back and enjoy life with. Thus, it’s important that you have the right ones in your life. 


Hi! My name is Leslie Torres and I am currently a freshman at DePaul University studying Film and Television. Some of my hobbies include reading, shopping, and meeting new people. Follow my Instagram @xx_lesliet_xx for more!
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