As I heard the crush of stone in the driveway, I looked back in the rearview mirror at Grove Street. I felt an ache in my chest as I realized how different waking up in a new place every morning was going to be. Leaving for college was going to be the first real change in my life. I remember thinking what if this doesn’t work out? What if I hate it there and don’t make any friends? What will happen? I remember thinking back to all the reasons I didn’t want to go and not the ones that I did.
Ever since I was little, I always thought college was far away. I was told I had so much time to worry about it and before I knew it my time was gone. Before I left I made a list of all the things I wanted to do. They consisted of going into Boston, shopping on Newbury with my friends, early sunrise and going out to my favorite restaurants. The last week before I left I felt like the time I spent as a kid was slowly slipping away. The things that I did weren’t going to be part of my daily life anymore. I wasn’t coming back home after school every day, laughing with my brother, playing with my dog, eating at the kitchen table and driving with my sister. I knew that I was ready but I didn’t think it would go by so quickly. Before I left my grandfather wrote me a letter talking about growing up and the passage of time.
“Graduation is like passing through one of the four outside doors at 15 Grove St…Your family and friends all will miss you greatly, but we realize it’s time for you to move on and start this exciting chapter of your new life. As you pass out the doorway you enter your future and you will be setting your own course. So make the most of the time you have there searching for those fields and opportunities that make you excited and don’t be afraid to change.”
We can’t change the passage of time. It is inevitable that we grow older and learn to do things differently than we did before. Somehow we figure it out as we go through life and face challenges that get in the way. No one thinks they’re ready for the next step in their life otherwise it would just be easy. When you have something, you don’t always realize how great it is until it’s gone.Thinking back to when I was younger, I had so much time where I didn’t have to worry about anything. Once you grow up, it becomes more of a responsibility and something you’re expected to do on your own. Before I left, my dad told me that college would be the best four years of my life and it’s what comes after that hard part. The thoughts that spiraled in my head were excuses I made because of how much I would be leaving behind. I never thought about how exciting this time would be for me because it would be an opportunity for me to discover more about myself. You know when it’s time to go because even though there are people telling you to not be afraid, the only person who can decide is yourself.