On a sweltering day in mid-July, my friends and I floated lazily in a pool, aimlessly chatting about nothing. Somehow, one of the girls and I separated from the group and drifted into a rather intriguing conversation about political ideology and the countless definitions of feminism.
Although I often bite my tongue in certain conversations regarding feminism because my words cannot catch up with my thoughts and I fear being boxed into a corner based on one choice of phrase, this conversation was different. My friend and I do not share all of the same political views on every controversial topic known to man, who does? Nonetheless, we are able to have deep discussions about complicated topics without making the other feel uncomfortable as is so common in this era of politics.
In this case, we openly talked about what it meant to be a feminist. There is obviously a stereotypical view of a feminist: dressed head-to-toe in pink, no bra, unshaven armpits and legs, and a face that seems to say “I hate men.” I think that most people tend to think about the very extremes of feminism, so much in fact that when I mentioned to my father in passing that I was a feminist, he was surprised.
“But wait, you’re not a feminist…?”
https://www.salon.com/2016/10/25/woman-groped-while-protesting-pussy-gra…
I was not offended or angry with his response. It just reminded me that there is a cliché consensus about how a feminist should look, speak, and act, and I don’t necessarily fit that description. But just because I’m not out there on the front lines, screaming into a megaphone with my #PussyPower t-shirt on, doesn’t mean I don’t support women’s rights. I do. And I support men. Crazy, I know.
Being a feminist is not advocating for female-supremacy, it’s pushing for equity. Whether you’re a feminist or not, a liberal or a conservative, a man or a woman, there’s no denying the fact that women face certain obstacles at home, in the classroom, and in the workplace on a daily basis that men do not. I don’t want men’s pay to be lowered, I want women’s pay to match it. I don’t want to segregate men and women in the office so that there are no threats of sexual misconduct, I want everyone to be well informed about how to appropriately interact with coworkers and properly deal with any complaints that may arise so that everyone can have a safe workplace.
It’s hard to talk about this subject. Even while I’m finishing up, I know that I’m leaving ideas out. Yet I feel that what I’ve written needed to be said, not to the public but for myself. In today’s political climate, it is easy for people to pick a side and stay there, blind to the others’ point of view. This norm led to my apprehension in declaring my own political identity because I felt that I was in limbo and had no place to call home (metaphorically). But I know that it is okay to be a conservative woman or a liberal feminist, admire your male role models but also want to tear down the patriarchy, and have an equally passionate love for breaking gender norms and doing girly makeup looks. No one is ever going to fit neatly into a stereotype about his/her political ideology.
This is not a call to arms, this is not an attack on men (especially not on my dad!), these are simply some of my thoughts that I’ve managed to actually get down on paper about my role in the modern feminist movement.