Sitting on my couch this morning (okay maybe it’s 1:47 p.m. but I’m still in my pajamas so I’m calling it morning), I’m feeling bogged down with feelings of un-motivation. Is unmotivation a word? I’m not entirely sure, but I’m too lazy to look it up. Anyways, I’ve decided to be somewhat productive and write my Her Campus article for the week as opposed to starting my 8 page Political Science final paper that is due on Wednesday. It’s called balance, people.
So why is it so hard to feel motivated at this time? Obviously, in terms of school work, I am not on Denison’s beautiful campus right now as I should be, so completing assignments has felt incredibly challenging. I equate being home for extended periods of time with winter and summer breaks when I don’t have any work to be doing, so having actual work to do feels wrong.
It’s not that it’s a lot of work, I mean, it’s really not. Most professors (but certainly not all…see PoliSci assignment for reference) have changed their syllabi to include fewer assignments or less requirements to accommodate for this increasingly strange situation. It’s just weird doing anything related to school at home, I guess. Saying “alright I’m going to class!” to my dad as I walk down the stairs to the basement doesn’t get any more normal as the weeks have gone on.
I’m disappointed in myself that I have felt this way because I have faced hardships before and have been able to overcome them. But this is a completely new situation and it’s comforting to understand that I am certainly not the only one who is feeling this way. We just have to push through, and luckily for me, this semester is fiiiiiinally ending next week. I’m not really sure how “accomplished” I will feel, however. I suspect that it won’t really feel like I completed anything at the end of this semester because there is no dorm room to pack up, no roadtrip home, no tearful goodbyes with my friends, no shouting “I’m a junior!” to my cat and family when I arrive home for the summer.
I will have to be okay with my Sophomore year ending with simply flipping off the light switch in my basement work area, walking upstairs, settling into the couch, and watching another nightly movie with my dad. I’ll eventually have to find something else to feel unmotivated about, but that sounds like a task for another day.