I’ve always considered myself an over-lover. I tend to feel too strongly or too much about things or people I’m passionate for, which I don’t consider to be a bad thing. Despite being an over-lover, I was very introverted, so I hadn’t had any romantic relationships throughout my school years, which I was perfectly fine with. It was never something that was on my mind until I was later into my high school career. I had crushes. Who didn’t? But I wanted a relationship that would become meaningful, and not one sided. I had so much love to give, and I wanted to find the right person to give it to. Little did I know; that person would appear on my phone screen one fine evening in March.
Just after my 18th birthday had passed, I got an alert from Snapchat. It was from a guy I hardly knew in high school that was two years above me. We had one art class together, and seemingly despised each other whenever we were in it. Both of us had similar personality traits, so there would be constant battles to see who could outwit the other with sarcastic comments. It was fun, but I was fully convinced we were eternal enemies. His Snapchat to me had something sarcastic, which was to be expected, and I played along. I figured he was told to talk to me by his best friend, who happened to also be mine. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. So, after knowing that, I wanted to see where the conversation would go.
A few weeks pass, and we’ve texted every day since his initial message. We’ve both gotten a little flirty and playful, and the conversation had been great. It was completely different than how we interacted in school, which I found mind-boggling. One day, I get an incoming FaceTime call, and it was him. I panicked, got myself cute quickly, and answered—one of the first signs I realized I was crushing a little bit. I usually hate talking on the phone, but I don’t regret answering that call. That was probably the best conversation I had with someone in a long time. He told me goofy stories about himself, and I laughed my signature cackle. It felt like it was the start of something real. Something I hadn’t experienced before.
Fast forward a couple more weeks, and we’re going on our first date! He drove his Chrysler 300 to my mom’s house and respectfully greeted her. He was wearing a form fitting black t-shirt, pair of jeans, and dressy shoes. Geez, he looked handsome. This was the first time I’d seen him in person in maybe 2 1/2 years. After I checked him out a little, we headed to the movies to watch A Quiet Place. I’d already seen it but agreed to watch it with him again. On the drive there, I played music. One song came on that I did not intend to play. It was Nobody by Keith Sweat. If you haven’t heard it, it’s a somewhat steamy song that Mr. Sweat did not create to be played on a first date. Anyway, we get to the theatre, and for the entirety of the movie, we kept to ourselves, hands clasped in our laps. I was grateful he didn’t try to make a move, even though I could tell he wanted to. We all know that “over the arm” trick the guy does in the movies when they go on a date. Well that didn’t happen. Every now and then I discreetly looked over at him, but that was about it. The movie ended, and I had to go to work. He drove me there, and we parted ways.
Now it’s the night of my prom. I’m going with one of my girl friends from high school, which was the original plan we’d sketched out months before. But I’d made plans to see Mr. Handsome after all the festivities were over. Lemme tell ya, it was the cutest night ever. We drove downtown and sat on a swing together and laid in the middle of the street like we were Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. Cliché, but a night I won’t forget. It was the night we finally kissed. After all of this happened, I think he realized he liked me a lot, and he asked me to officially be his girlfriend the next day. This was almost a year and a half ago.
I’m writing this to tell you hopeless romantics; there is someone for everyone. It is not your purpose to love someone else, but if you do, find someone that accepts every part of you. Find someone that wants to show you off and doesn’t hide you from others. Find someone that loves your quirks, your potentially obnoxious laughter, your flaws. It takes time to find this person, but I truly believe that everyone loves someone, be it romantically or platonically, or however. Even if it doesn’t work out in the end, you’ve loved, and that feeling invokes so much inside of a person, to a point where it’s indescribable. It helps you learn more about yourself. It helps shape you and pushes you to self-love. I encourage you to love without fear, without judgment. And if that love doesn’t make you happy, or support your growth, let it go. You deserve what is best for you. My story is one of many, and I hope that you find yours, or already have. And if you’re an over-lover like myself, you won’t feel that way anymore if you’re with the right person. I know I don’t.