You’ve all heard of long distance relationships of the romantic kind, but what about the platonic ones? Just like romantic partners, friends can be long distance too. I should know, seeing as it’s my junior year of college and my high school friends are scattered across the country. We’ve got Klara in Alaska, Anna and Mae in Washington, Ophelia in California, Madeline and Isabelle in Minnesota, and me in Ohio. It’s funny that I traveled the furthest East, even though Ohio is barely out of the Midwest. While the majority of my friends ventured West or stayed put in Minnesota, I found myself drawn to what I call the “fake East coast.” Due to our various locations, my friends and I have found ourselves in the precarious condition of what we have deemed as “long distance friendship.”
I love my high school friends, it’s plain and simple. Coming to Denison as a freshman, I found myself seeking out people who reminded me of them. We FaceTimed each other as often as possible that first semester away from home, sharing all of our new college experiences with each other. Although the calls are a little less frequent now that we’re all so busy, they’re no less meaningful. We’re at a crazy point where the updates in our lives are becoming more and more exciting, significant, and frankly adult. I live for the news that my friends from home tell me over the phone, whether it’s a new romantic interest or an internship they’re applying for.
This past summer was the first one we experienced separately; only three of us ventured home to Minneapolis. I relished the time that I got to spend with Madeline and Isabelle, but I couldn’t help but miss the days when the seven of us were all together. It was the first time I realized that we had all truly grown up, which is a scary realization but also a wonderful one. But the amazing thing that happened was that my friends from home got to meet some of my college friends through little weekend trips in and out of Minneapolis. And the even more amazing thing? They all loved each other. This only enforced my confidence in the friendships I have built over the years.
If you nurture a friendship and put in the time, you will succeed (even if you’re hundreds of miles away). Although it can be a lot of work, it’s these relationships that keep me going. In my case, the distance between all of us has only strengthened our bond. Here are the tactics I have collected over the years for sustaining long distance friendships:
- FaceTime calls – This may seem like an obvious point to make, but its importance should not be undermined. As someone who plans out every second of their life, I find it helpful to schedule a FaceTime call at the beginning of the week for a later day. That way everybody can add it to their calendar and commit to a date and time. Especially for friends who are in multiple time zones, it doesn’t always work to just sporadically call people.
- Send life updates via text – If I’ve learned anything from these two years of long distance friendship, it’s that people want to be informed about what’s going on in your life. So text your friends; tell them you got the job, kissed the cute classmate, chose a location to study abroad, or whatever is happening. Chances are, they’ll be just as excited as you are.
- Mail your friends postcards or letters – I can’t even explain how amazing of a feeling it is to open your mailbox and pull out a postcard or handwritten letter from one of my friends back home. Every time I get a note, I immediately run to Denison’s bookstore, purchase a postcard and stamp, and draft out a response. I have a box at home of all the letters and postcards I’ve received, and that collection only continues to grow. Sending mail is an especially sweet thing to do if you have a friend with a birthday coming up.
- Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok – See something that reminds you of a friend from back home? Send it to them, whether it’s an Instagram photo, Facebook post, or TikTok. Doing something as little as this shows that you’re thinking of someone from back home and it shows that you care enough to take the time to send it to them.
- Plan visits – Even if you plan a visit for months in advance, it will be so worth it. Being able to have a tangible date where you’ll get to see your long distance friend will help you get through the long school weeks. It also gives you a chance to see your friend in a completely new setting; there you’ll be able to see what their life away from you is like.