We remember the days of middle school sleepovers… the array of snacks set
out on the floor, the endless movies that played quietly on the tv while we collapsed
from contagious laughter, the games of truth or dare, the remakes of our favorite music
videos, the circles of secret sharing at 1 am… we felt carefree, happy, and safe. We
didn’t have a boyfriend or that random hookup texting us all night. We had fun without
shots. We didn’t need to worry about the secrets kept between three friends and not the
other… our girls’ nights were simple. We were connected without the need of an iPhone
screen; we took the time to plan sleepovers in advance; we dove into conversation and
ended up lost in laughter. Yes, the years have changed us, and we can’t reject the
complications of relationships and friendships at our ages, but I miss this time of purity.
Over time, the crushes turned into boyfriends and flings. The designated house
transitioned into 3 or 4 party stops. The carpool mom-minivan morphed into various,
random Uber trips and favor rides from that old guy we used to have “a thing” with…
Although our current girls’ nights are still filled with companionship, enjoyment, and
lighthearted fun, the dynamic has shifted into an endless sea of secrets, social media,
and drama that has ultimately changed the way we experience friendships. I miss the
undoubtable trust, unconditional love, and the importance of girl code that has seemed
to be forgotten. The environment of my highschool slowly changed the weekends with
my girls. Boys controlled our sleepovers. Somehow, through our phone screens, those
highschool guys had complete power over our girls’ nights. The movie marathon was
ignored, but instead of the voices fading into the background from the sounds of
laughter, the texts and Snapchats from that clingy ex or that classmate that wants to
start drama silenced the movie scenes. Time continued to fly by, not because we were
lost in conversation, but because our phones caused us to lose track of time without
even thinking about it. Some nights ended in tears, some ended in fights, some ended
in hugs… but the nights always ended when we stayed at home. We didn’t have the
motivation to stay up and spill secrets; they had already been shared, exposed, and
abused. We had tension, stress, and unspoken or silenced opinions that broke down
our bodies until we fell asleep on the couch…
If any of my rather dark evolution of my girls’ nights relate to you or your
experience, I want to share a few ways to bring the old, sentimental excitement back
into your girl time:
1. Movies, movies, movies – Have a throwback movie night! Find some classics that
you and your girls used to love and have a marathon while you eat your favorite
snacks.
2. Games! – Pull out some board games, card games, party games… it might seem
uninteresting at first, but you and your friends will get into the friendly
competition!
3. No phones rule – set some time (maybe during movies or gametime) where you
and your girls turn off your phones. Make time to focus on each other without the
constant distraction of your notifications.
4. Put effort into dinner and late-night snacks – Don’t just throw a few bags of chips
on the floor; try to make a cute arrangement of nostalgic snacks for you and your
girls to enjoy!
Even though our lives have changed over the years, I truly believe that girls’ night will
always be essential to maintaining lifelong friendships. Don’t forget the value of this
time.