“Don’t ever doubt your worth.” “Don’t be afraid to be different.” “Be yourself. There is no one better.” Man, how many times have you heard typical phrases like this in your life? I know for certain that I’ve heard them too many times to count. While they are great and inspiring quotes that have been repeated to us time after time, when have they actually been useful? Yes, when the going gets hard and it feels like you’re left with this empty, hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach that insists on dragging you down until you are pushed onto the absolute brink, a quick Google search on “inspiring quotes” can sometimes be uplifting. I am not at all protesting to that and if that coping mechanism genuinely keeps you from teetering down on to the full darkness of insanity, then to each their own, go crazy. Remember: “Be the change that you want to see in this world.”
Here is my personal problem though: I struggle so hard with committing to anything. Now, I’ll go ahead and give myself a little bit of credit, so it doesn’t seem like I’m exaggerating, there have been exceptions to that statement. For instance, I travelled to Italy with my family a few years back and witnessing the culture, art, architecture, and habits that the people adopted in that European country made me have a deeper appreciation for the history that different countries have gone through. To this day, that trip does motivate me to want to see the world in all its truest forms and, although I have no idea what steps to take to get there, I know that I will make it happen in my future. But, if you’re someone that can commit to anything with no problem, then you’re just a better person than me and I applaud you. Fortunately for me though, I’ve just recently figured out the main reason on why I have this defect and now I can share it with you: I’m scared of failing. Maybe it could be the most minor thing, like whether I should start going to the gym regularly, but when I plant that thought in my head about just being naturally bad at committing, I use it almost as a defense mechanism, so I don’t feel as bad if I fail at going regularly. However, what I don’t realize is that I’m already setting myself up for failure with my lack of confidence in myself to do things. Small things like that build up over time and can erupt into a messy swarm of negativity, which is not a healthy way to handle things.
The solution to this problem? Well, it stems to just having more confidence in yourself, but it takes a lot of confidence to have a lot of confidence. (Did you like that? “It takes a lot of confidence to have a lot of confidence.” I got that from the sign on my third-grade teacher’s door. Inspiring quotes do come in handy at times.) But, when the going gets hard and it feels like you’re left with this empty, hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach that insists on dragging you down until you are pushed on the absolute brink, the key to obtaining that confidence and self-love is through delusion. That sounds like cheating but picture it this way: no one is going to be able to make you love yourself. They can’t do that part for you. So, even if you don’t have the most insane confidence in yourself, pretend that you do. While you’re at it, support other people through their endeavors. It’ll make them feel good, it’ll make you feel good, it doesn’t cost you anything, so go crazy. Own and embrace every part of you and, before long, success will find you. It will be worth it. I don’t know about you, but I’m excited for it.