After going through recruitment last year and not matching up with a house, I had been dreading this time of year ever since. I was petrified of the constant reminders of my unaffiliatedness by seeing all of my Greek friends and the long strings of perfect posts on Instagram come bid day. I wondered how I would ever make it through the rest of my time at Denison without a sorority to call home. But, alas, here I am intact, better than ever, and ready to offer up some tips on how to get through this time of year to those choosing not to rush, those dropping recruitment, or those still suffering PTSD from years past.
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Stay off of social media (I MEAN IT!) – While this is something I am slowly trying to implement into my daily life (and you should too!), it is most important during sorority season. Without a doubt, there will be a post from each current and new member showing off their perfect bid day gear in front of their perfect house with their perfect friends. These posts are super cute and fun and should be posted by Greek women (they are, in fact, one of the main unhealthy reasons why I wanted to rush in the first place). However, they often leave unaffiliated women feeling insecure and wondering how they will ever have a functioning social life without their Greek letters. The best way to protect yourself from this impending FOMO is to stay off all socials. No Instagram. No Snapchat. No Facebook. No Twitter. No MySpace, etc, etc, etc, you get my point.
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Treat yourself to something special – One of the best parts about not joining a sorority is avoiding the expensive dues each semester. Since you will be saving hundreds or even thousands of dollars in dues over the next four months, you deserve to get yourself a little treat. Go out for smoothies or ice cream (my treats of choice). Buy that sweater you’ve been eyeing since the beginning of winter break. Add another month onto your Spotify Premium subscription. It doesn’t have to be a big purchase, but with all the money you’re saving, you deserve a little somethin’ somethin’.
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Go to the gym – Since half of the school’s population is standing outside in the cold on Sorority Circle, there are WAY less people in the gym, even during crowded week nights. Take freakin advantage of that, my friends.
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Find an unaffiliated friend (or, like, a few of them) – This is way harder said than done, especially for first-years, I know. But if you can find another human not involved with Greek life that you enjoy hanging out with GRAB THEM AND NEVER LET THEM GO. When your Greek girlfriends have chapter or formal or are hanging out with their new sisters, you can hang with this person and bond. I know this isn’t easy because I didn’t have an easy time doing it. But now most of my close friends (not all, of course) are unaffiliated and it has worked out great. I am certainly not saying to abandon your Greek friends, after all they are still the same people and they are still your friends. However, it’s nice to have someone to rely on and spend time with that knows what it’s like to be in your shoes.
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Make your life the sorority experience you want – By this, I don’t mean to try to replicate the entire Greek system by yourself, but take the parts of the sorority experience you like and incorporate them into your daily life. Want to do more philanthropy? Sign up for more service opportunities. Want more female friends? Join a different girl group on campus (like Her Campus!). Want cute photos for Insta? Have a photo shoot with a friend. You don’t have to go Greek to reap all the benefits.
Remember your worth – Whether it’s how many likes I get on Instagram, how many friends I have, which groups I belong to, or how many formals I get asked to (a big fat ZERO), I’ve probably fallen into the trap of believing that these are the criteria that are worthy of measuring my value as a human being. Obviously, these are most definitely not any indicators of the value of a person, but when I see Greek women with these characteristics I tend to feel that they are. However, I’ve come to learn that Greek women are valuable as women not because they are Greek but because they are good people who represent values of sisterhood and service. As unaffiliated women, we can represent these values too. Remember that our worth does not lie in the Greek letters we have written on our water bottle but in the values we live out everyday. Greek or not, you are worthy of every bit of happiness, attention, and success coming your way. FREAKIN OWN IT.