Gloom and gleam seem to be located equidistant from one another on the spectrum of Valentine’s Day and humans like you and me oscillate between the two like pendulums, from year to year, feeling too little or too much. While the specificities of V-day celebrations vary across time zones, certain emergent trends have now become markers of this seemingly romantic day. Every year I find myself trapped in the spectrum amidst questions that these trends throw up. For as long as I’ve known and understood (Uhm, I think I have) the essence of this day, I’ve spent it snuggled in a cozy corner of my house in the company of my Valentine’s Day playlist thinking of the various dilemmas that this day breeds.
Named after St. Valentine, Valentine’s Day is believed to have its roots in the Roman festival of Lupercalia. The first letter signed ‘Your Valentine’ was perhaps sent by the priest himself. While its origins are hazy, it is said to have acquired a romantic connotation only in the 14th century. The romance took a material form as formal messages (valentines) appeared in the 1500s and printed cards began circulating for commerce by the late 1700s. In the 21st century, V-day has a pervasive effect across continents and several products like flowers, chocolates, accessories, experiential gifts like holiday trips, spa visits and candlelit dinners along with personalized gifts have become its symbols.
Every year, as V-day approaches, a tussle arises between the voice in my head that’s a lover of romantic clichés and the one that views capitalism as a force that silently suffocates society and demands to be dealt with using staunch resistance. The lover and the liberal in me, like warring parties, debate the essentiality of this day determining whether it is a sincere celebration of love or a stereotypical gimmick resting on pomp and pretense. The brawl in my head eventually transforms into a throbbing headache and a resolute passion to bring a change.
A rather common concept that comes under the spotlight and eventual scrutiny during the V-day season is that of gendered marketing. While all brands dress their products in red and pink, the apparent colors of love, their appeal is determined by gender. Gender tailored marketing examines consumer actions and strategies to appeal to an audience that it conveniently fits into a gendered stereotype. This approach has an emotional undertone and for a long time didn’t just survive but flourished in our conventional society that identified and grouped individuals based on binaries. While our favorite brands like Archies, Tanishq, Titan, Nyka, and others still tell us that “love can be sparkled on girlfriends through diamonds” and “gold-tinted watches are perfect gifts for boyfriends,” this gendered approach has shed its widespread charm as society has become more accepting of the multiplicities in people’s identities and as people refuse to be put inside a box.
Capitalist culture feeds on consumer behavior and mentality. Every year, the onset of February is approached by price hikes in products and services that can today be recognized as the markers of V-day. During the seven days of Valentine’s Day week, romance gets materialized in the form of roses, chocolates, and teddy-bears leading up to the 14th of February, the day that witnesses the ultimate exhibition of materialized romance. Capitalist forces romanticize materialized love reducing it to a commodity that can be bought and sold. While receiving is exciting for most, giving just enough, if not too much is also anticipated. A middle-class Indian is likely to spend almost two to five times the amount a daily-wage laborer earns per day on Valentine’s Day. In this regard, V-day widens and highlights the apparent class divide in India idealizing an exhibit of love that remains a far-fetched dream for many. Equating expenditure with love has conditioned us to believe that V-day is reflective of love but in ways more than one it’s a demonstration of a flawed idea of status that depends on monetary privileges and must necessarily be shown-off. Our minds have also been plastered with the idea that love must essentially be extravagant. However, more often than we notice, it takes minimalistic forms. The smooth, buttery paper of an expensive greeting card cannot do what a piece of poetry written in crooked handwriting on the corner or a crumpled piece of newspaper can.
This year, in the wake of a worldwide pandemic as people struggle to satisfy their basic needs, it’ll be interesting to see what turn V-day will take. While the rich will respond to a slight derailment by switching to online shopping, I live in the hope that the absence of proper finances (and hopefully, this article) will awaken consciousness in the minds of the masses who will then fight to reclaim Valentine’s Day and love from the clutches of profit-oriented capitalist forces that plague society.
Capitalism cannot be done away within a day but we can prevent it from entering all aspects of our lives, especially those that deal with ‘matters of the heart’ and are in that respect, sacred.