In September 2021, Twitter had a volcanic eruption. The cause of this eruption was non-other than the boy next door turned scandalmonger, comedian John Mulaney. As Mulaney’s wholesome image shattered with each subsequent news report about his stint at rehab, divorce from his now ex-wife and the subsequent relationship and pregnancy with Olivia Munn, so did the hearts of millions of his fans. This led to a rise in both critics of Mulaney and the critics of the critics. The popular reason cited as to why Mulaney elicited such strong reactions from his fans is what is called parasocial relationships. This ‘controversy’ has further led to a popular discourse in the media regarding the benefits and perils of these relationships.
So, what in the world is a parasocial relationship?
The term parasocial relationship, given by sociologists Donald Horton and Richard Wohl in 1957, refers to the intimate bonds people felt they had with television and radio personalities. It can take the form of, for example, crushes or just a general interest in their personal life. These relationships can sometimes even be as meaningful as actual ones.
Now, most of us have been in some sort of parasocial interaction with a well-known personality or even a fictional character. It is completely normal and healthy(thank God, Beyonce can continue being my queen) and in fact, it can even help people with self-esteem issues and provide a form of escapism(something we are increasingly looking for these days). It might not be that different from being invested in your best friend’s romantic life. And they shouldn’t be confused with cases involving violent stalkers and unstable fans. The unhinged fan who shot John Lennon wasn’t suffering from an extreme case of parasocial relationship. He had unattended health issues which led to such violent behaviour. It is not the same as wanting Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston to get back together.
Parasocial relationships aren’t new either. From the Beatlemania of the 60s to the Stan culture of today, these relationships have always existed. The only difference now is that with the advent of social media, they are more visible today.
It would be unfair to say that the celebrity doesn’t benefit from this relationship too. Artists like Taylor Swift and BTS do and, John Mulaney did too, with him mining his personal life for stand-up material. However, the problem is that then the fans remain overly invested in their lives, even during the dark and embarrassing moments. They sometimes even feel entitled to the intricacies of their lives. This then creates problems for the person at the receiving end of these relationships.
Ultimately, people forget that most often, the person we get attached to is, in fact, a public persona, not the complete human with all of their messiness but just parts of them. So, when this public image disintegrates, it feels like a betrayal, that they aren’t who you thought they were.
So, maybe it’s time to recognise that these celebrities are also just individuals with all their flaws, embarrassments and vices and are just trying to make their way through life as we are and accept that we are not entitled to everything that happens in their lives. And maybe even recognise that, though usually without detriment, these interactions aren’t a substitute for real-life relationships. This might help us redirect our energy towards making an actual change in our real life and not just talking about it online.