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Let’s talk about sex. Every mature relationship that lasts long enough to create a space comfortable enough for both partners comes to a point where you decide on taking things forward. This ladies and gentlemen is exactly how you should take the big next step aka sex when in a relationship. While every relationship is unique in its progression, what is important is to be comfortable with your significant other. There is no particular period after which you should have sex, and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. It could be 3 months, 9 months or even a year (or more) before you feel comfortable taking things to the next level.

Intimacy is important in a relationship; it is one of the most special ways to make your partner experience your affections, but it should never arise at the cost of your comfort. Just because you’re in a relationship you are not supposed to do anything. Falling under the tag of being in a relationship does not give anyone authority over your body. We have seen people advocating against falling under peer pressure, and it's high time that relationships and sex too should fall under these criteria. Many coming of age girls feel pressured when they hear stories from their peers or seniors about their escapades. Most of us are just getting into our first relationships when we enter college. So, it is that much more intimidating when your partner is much more experienced than you. This intimidation coupled with stories you hear about what is expected out of you in a relationship leads to many young girls seeking sex with someone just for the sake of it. Pro-tip, if you’re having sex just to get it over with, it might not be as pleasant for you as you would hope it would be.

When the time is right, the person is perfect and the feelings are just glowing (and the protection is ready) you will know that it might be the right time to get intimate. While it would seem like just being in love with the person should be enough to have a wonderful first time, it actually takes a bit more work. Before you let anyone else touch your body to give you ‘pleasure,’ you need to know your own body first. There is no way you can expect your SO to make you feel great when you yourself don’t know what do you like and don’t like. While Indian beliefs might make you believe that exploring your body is ‘dirty’ or wrong, that is all just a load of crap. It is your body and you have every right to know every cervix of it. The best way to know what your body likes or doesn’t is best done by your own body. Masturbation is a stepping stone for self-exploration, it is the best way to know what your body likes and doesn’t like.

Chances are that your first time will involve a lot of blushing and might just be awkward but as long as you’re with a person you feel safe and comfortable with, that’s all that matters. Remember again that you can always say no. If at any point you feel like you don’t want to go through with it, just say no. It doesn’t matter if you’re already halfway through foreplay or just talking about taking things forward, your body knows what is best for you. Do not feel guilty or let anyone make you feel guilty for not having sex.

So, to have the somewhat ‘perfect’ first time, keep in mind some important golden rules; you should be comfortable with your SO, you must know your body well enough to communicate with your partner about what you like and don’t (masturbation really helps with this rule) and always have protection with you.

Let your first time be special and unique just like your relationship. Don’t succumb to what society or your peers tell you about how you should handle your relationship. Always remember that you would know the dynamic you and your SO share better than anyone else. Wait for as long as you have to or don’t wait at all as it should always be your decision in the end.

Just wrap it before you tap it!

Samantha Roy

Delhi South '21

Samantha is currently doing her final year of B.A English honours from Jesus and Mary college. Most of her time is spent watching underrated shows on Netflix and rereading books to relish the sense of nostalgia and comfort.
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