“I think I’d miss you even if we never met.” –
The Wedding Date (2005)
Will you, though? I think it’s no secret that we have all spent a substantial amount of time watching this very specific genre of movies that are like no other but if you give it some thought, are also awfully similar to one another sometimes. I always find myself in the same situation; deadlines piling up and so many things to do but what do I do? More often than not, I put on a romantic comedy and stress watch it until my brain does not let me anymore. But, the entertainment just makes it all worth it. A doe-eyed nerdy boy helping the jock get the girl or the geeky girl falling for the charming and dare I say, very disarming boy that she should not really be with. Or some other very clichéd plot that you can probably easily think of because the multitude of these movies has made it pretty easy for us to guess what will happen next.
The stories are, let’s face it, not that great. Then why do we watch these movies? Not because of an astounding tale but because of the ending of the story that we don’t just anticipate but have also learnt by heart. This familiarity is the magnet that draws our iron clad hearts inside iron cages to it with an astronomical force.The phenomenon of almost always knowing that these people find their happy endings is just so comfortable. It all seems and to be honest, presents itself like a dream. So, in my head, I ask myself every single time I watch a romantic comedy, “Does this really happen?” And who even knows the answer to that question. More importantly, does it even matter what the answer to this question is? Because the experience of love, unlike shown in movies is actually very subjective to each individual.
These plots perhaps do take place in real life or maybe they don’t. What must also be kept in mind is that some of us want them to very explicitly unfurl themselves in our lives but also, some of us don’t. What remains uniform for each and every individual is the chameleon-like nature of love. Sometimes, it is nice and makes you feel all gooey and mushy on the inside and gives you butterflies but it is also very capable of holding the very same butterflies at gunpoint and making them question the entire reason for their existence. The volatility is almost hostile. So, why then do we keep reverting back to these stereotypical notions of love that help absolutely no one?
In my opinion, we do not really watch this genre because the stories are too intriguing or the plot is just flabbergasting. We stay and we spend our time and get invested in these stories because of the hope they give and the warmth that, I for one, do feel after I finish a romantic comedy. The miracles that happen towards the ending of each and every film from this particular genre are a testament to the possibility of it all. The hope we so dearly harbor in our hearts in a way clings to this familiarity and pleads for us to truly manifest the same for us in reality. Because at the end of the day, just like bones and flesh, we humans are equally composed of serendipity and miracles.
Whilst in this reverie of being magical and hopeful, we tend to forget another aspect peculiar to our very own species. We are indeed miraculous but also inescapably and unnervingly and perhaps sometimes unmanageably human. We have no other choice but succumb to this very inherent human-ness in ourselves. So, the expectation of someone changing us for the good or vice versa is neither practical nor healthy. The whole attitude of ‘I can change him’ or ‘I can change her’ that some of us have learned from these rom-com movies is just not acceptable. Because despite the depth of every real and raw emotion we feel for someone, it is not okay for us to put ourselves through the trouble of either expecting them to change for us or worse yet, putting ourselves through the sheer pain and pressure of changing them on our own. It is neither fair to them or to us.
The nearly perfect individuals that we see in movies and want for ourselves are also a little misleading. What is not misleading is the fact that even if not perfect, people have a way of seeming perfect. Not by their own dint, but by ours. When we truly appreciate someone, we see and accept them for who they are and not who we want them to be. We begin to not only understand but also cherish all of their uniquely alluring foibles and that is also one of our staggeringly real qualities of being human.
But we must also understand that this whole phenomenon of feeling complete because of someone else is rubbish, to say the least. While hoping for a miracle is okay, maybe longing for it is not. It should be kept in mind that things happen at their own pace in our lives and sadly, sometimes it is not up to us to control everything and make things happen for ourselves, despite of what we wish for. We might end up with someone or we might not. The odds remain the same but they do not influence the possibility of us finding our very own happy endings. So making us feel complete is our own responsibility and the trial and error of romance is just a part of life, not a part of us.
Therefore, a significant other or not, just being can still very much be a rom-com as long as the appreciation for self and romanticism towards little things remains alive throughout the various challenging but enthralling stages of life.