The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
Even as dating applications offer respite amidst the pandemic induced dating drought, here are my reasons for never turning to them. If you find yourself compulsively repulsed by them or have wasted your time looking for true love over the internet, maybe one of these will put your problem into perspective.
It’s not always easy to move past ideas that seem to be acquiring the bandwagon effect, are repeated recommendations from your best pals, bounce on your phone screens every time you switch on your internet and promise romantic trysts even in the prevalent times of delayed communication. Yet I find myself handpicking my most rational reasons for dodging past dating apps so much so that a lot of them sound a lot saner in my head than when blurted out. However, if you’ve read this far, hear me out and decide if I’m just an obnoxiously weird person fabricating illusions or someone with a deeply critical understanding of virtual vulnerabilities.
- Matches are made in heaven, not on dating applications: Dating apps, at the end of the day, are commercial units capitalizing on the ever-lasting search for love and attention. Their match making algorithms apply uniform techniques for all the billions of their subscribers to serve ideal matches. But can a careful analysis of one’s likes, dislikes and online behavior really find them love especially if they’re destined for the “opposites attract” match? If dating applications boast of uniting some exceptional matches, those most probably didn’t result from fool proof algorithms but fate.
- Quite Compulsorily Love at First Sight: While there’s no right or wrong in matters of love, a dating judgement based on an illusive picture and a couple of handpicked partial biographic details might not always take you to the right person. Too bad, dating apps only tease you with little information until you swipe a person into your life. What you know about your online match is never enough.
- All Talk and No Touch: Additionally, amidst the pandemic, with little or no scope to meet up, it’s honestly hard to catch up with online dates. Sooner or later, a lack of and a craving for in-person intimacy turns the relationship sour or worse, boring. Also, what if offline dating progress was never part of your date’s plan?
- Multiple Personalities Fiasco: This might be one of those realities we try to bury into thick layers of ignorance but no person’s texting personality ever aligns with their in-person conversing personality. So, if you finds the right match and sets up a cutesy date, this is where things turn around. An analysis of human behavior depicts that right swipes not only reflect matches but can also come in as real confidence boosters and so when on a dating application, every person is putting up their best show. So, taking what is texted at face value while walking into your date might lead to disappointments.
- Small talk or Sleep: It’s a given that dating applications are means of connecting with people you might never have crossed paths with otherwise. Consequently, online dating experiences often build themselves on the premise that any attempt at truly understanding your date would involve a lot of talking. The sad truth remains that we’re living through times when even texting is taxing. So, a lack of time and energy sound like completely valid reasons for avoiding dating applications. Anticipating replies that don’t arrive on time can be extremely anxiety provoking and we all know that until you make their heart beat out of their chest, they can only expect replies post two or three days.
- Past’s Perilous Pulling: Your engagement with a new dating life will end up in a black hole if you’re using online dating as a distraction or rebound. If no reason seems to find you a good deal, turn to this one. You’re probably not letting a dating application rescue you because you’re fixated on a past you don’t want to escape, afraid of a future you find hazy and are convinced that your match is not waiting for you behind a screen.
Before I close this chapter on ‘dating disasters’, let me tell you that if you find even one of these points valid, I shall reward myself for putting my mess into comprehensible lines. However, if you don’t and you’re still wondering why you’re a dating application repellent, read this article again and know that your reasons might also be floating in a whirlwind inside your head, you only need to commit to it, think and make a list. Chances are, introspection will help you pick them up and understand your fears. If they don’t, you’ll at least have a funny list like mine.