According to the constitution of India, everyone, irrespective of their caste, color, gender, nationality, and religion, is equal. However, the ‘dowry’ system is a treacherous practice that proves otherwise. Dowry refers to “the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband or his family in marriage.”(1)
This illegal social evil degrades women to the status of a commodity whose value is then measured in terms of materialistic wealth and goods. As much as we all want it to not be true, this ancient evil is still prevalent in society even in the 21st century. Shocked? — Let’s together decode the sociology behind dowry in today’s day and age.
The insecurity of the bride’s parents stems from the status of women in society. There are still many regions in India where women are not the bread earners of the family. Besides, they are not the legal heirs of the property or wealth of their family. This redundant and orthodox thinking still exists in the minds of many Indians, making the bride’s parents extremely insecure about the living conditions of their daughter. Therefore, they justify ‘dowry’ as a ‘gift’ from their family to the groom’s family. They believe that the groom’s family will only keep their daughter happy if they are joyous and satisfied with their ‘gifts.’ Other than this, the religious aspect of ‘giving your daughter away is also highlighted, through the religious ceremony of Kanyadan. Typically, depicting the daughter as a commodity that is being given away.
The bride, like all other women, is conditioned to accept the fact that she is leaving a life behind her. There are many such sociological and religious practices, like the bride changing her surname, leaving behind her footprints, throwing rice at the doorstep and many more which justify the insecurity of a woman. These practices prove to be a threat to a woman’s individuality and her identity becomes restricted to being someone’s wife. While she undergoes a huge transition in her life, she also has several doubts and insecurities about adjusting to a new household. Therefore, she believes that it’s her responsibility to keep her new family members happy by fulfilling all their demands. This conservative society forces her to believe these absurd and irrational things which justify dowry in her mind.
Lastly, the most important aspect is that of the groom’s parents. For several years, the notion that a ‘boy’ brings wealth to the family has been internalized. Not just in terms of what he earns from a job but also what he earns through dowry. This ridiculous opinion of society makes the groom’s family think that they deserve the dowry as a ‘reward’ for being parents to a boy.
Believe it or not, dowry practices are also very common in the urban areas of our country. However, this practice is conducted in the garb of status and pride. In many cases, the bride is given all these exorbitant gifts from her parent’s side as a token of memory to start her new life. They justify it as tokens of blessings and love for the newly married couple as they begin their new journey. Well, this unpopular opinion might seem justified. But on the dark side, this is just a way of concealing the bigger, darker secrets of the dowry system.
Dowry is an intricate social evil, which gives rise to several other serious issues, like domestic violence and marital rape. This comes from the very belief of considering the ‘bride’ as an acquired ‘property.’ Despite being illegal, the dowry system is embedded in the roots of our society in new and concealed ways. This has been proved by many statistical facts. “A research study on around 40,000 marriages in rural India in the last few decades showed a dowry was paid in 95% of marriages.” (2)
“In April 2015, shaadi.com, a matrimonial website, launched a dowry calculator and redirected people to a page that reported the number of dowry deaths in India during the last decade to raise awareness around issues linked to dowry. This calculator was, however, used by around two lakh people within a month of its launch.”(3)
This report shows that around 2 lakh people would actually want to calculate dowry using a dowry calculator. This depicts that despite the dowry system being illegal, concealed dowry is still prevalent in our country. The only way to curb and element this social evil is to spread awareness about this topic.
In conclusion, dowry culture is the silent truth of every third marriage. It is our responsibility to identify and take a stand whenever we experience or witness this situation. Therefore, it is the need of the hour to view the problem of ‘dowry’ from a sociological perspective and to move a step closer to bringing a revolutionary change in a society where marriage becomes companionship and not ownership.