Why can’t we just breathe?
Ever walked an empty street and looked back to make sure no one’s following you? Or pulled up your already tucked-up top because the guy in the metro won’t stop staring? Or felt the creepiness crawling all over your spine and you’re choking on your words? If it’s a yes for all of the above, of course, this is what being a female comes down to sometimes. Feeling claustrophobic on well-packed streets or even on deserted ones, which are supposedly open spaces, becomes so usual. It is a common experience we have, but it is not normal.
Travelling alone can be a daunting experience for some. In the name of ‘safety’, we are almost always told to alter our routes while walking home. Avoiding the darker alley on the way or not overreacting always boils down to if we are required to be “less vocal, less visible”. We innately delve into calculating risks and considering the dichotomies of what to do and what not to do. A survey by Solo Female Travelers found that 73% of women feel unsafe when traveling alone at night, and 58% have altered their travel plans due to safety concerns. Almost every woman has felt unsafe at least once when a random stranger made them feel uncomfortable, because as the hashtag states: not all men, but all women.
Certain Scandinavian countries like Sweden, Norway, and Finland consistently rank among the safest for solo female travelers, thanks to strong gender equality policies, strict laws against harassment, and well-lit public spaces. Denmark, for example, ranks first in the Women, Peace, and Security Index due to its low levels of gender-based violence and high levels of safety in public spaces.
As a girl, I’ve always felt this thing about being watched, and the fear of being touched or groped, it has never left me alone. When I came to an all-women’s college, I felt the comfort that it provides to girls like me. You can be anything with no fear. Entering college has a sudden calm that strikes you. It has been a wholesome year here, and I cannot help but wonder that this is the comfort that every female deserves to feel out there and not just in an all-women institution. The uplifting sentiment of girlhood and sisterhood hangs in the air. I feel blessed to have been able to experience this once in my academic years.
Living in Delhi, the knowledge of helpline numbers when you’re in a situation like that and having them on your speed dial is crucial. The helpline for the Delhi Commission for Women is (011) 23379181/ 23370597, and for cases of harassment while travelling by metro is 1091. NGO JAGORI is also one such initiative, which aims at raising public awareness about feminist issues and conducting research and surveys concerning the same. It also lends a hand of support to survivors of violence and promotes gender inclusive programs.
Reflections on the position of women in global perspectives make me even more pensive. There’s a mental exhaustion that accompanies me, and I believe all women like me, from being constantly alert and defensive. Getting over the fear is not easy, but you have to do it for yourself. You have to start calling such people out and taking a stand for yourself in a situation that made you feel unsafe. Every woman deserves to exist without fear, to walk without second-guessing, and to feel safe in her skin. Until that becomes a reality, spaces like these serve as a reminder of what is possible—a glimpse of the world we should all strive to create.
You are not alone. Help is available.
If you ever feel unsafe or need support, reach out to these helplines:
📞 Delhi Commission for Women (DCW): (011) 23379181 / 23370597
📞 Delhi Metro Women’s Helpline: 1091
📞 National Women’s Helpline (India): 181
📞 Jagori NGO (Support for Survivors of Violence): Visit their website
📞 Police Emergency Helpline: 112
Every woman deserves to walk without fear and live without second-guessing her safety. Until the world changes, let’s stand together, speak up, and ensure no one has to face this alone. 💜