This year has given us all books on numerous genres and issues, but interest in reading about the LGBTQIA+ community has been bubbling all over. One such book is ‘Loveless’ by Alice Oseman. It was released in 2020 and has been gaining quite a large audience across the globe. I recently read this book and was absolutely moved by it. It portrayed the issues faced by members of the queer community. While this book focuses on a teenager who after enrolling into a university unfolds her sexuality through some extremely baffling and difficult decisions, it also gives us an opportunity to read and learn about the various problems that the queer community faces while coming out.
It’s not a matter of surprise that even though it’s getting easier for many to identify themselves as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community in our society, the stumbling blocks in the process of accepting oneself and getting accepted by their loved ones still remain. This magnum opus by Alice Oseman takes us through some of these obstacles that are dealt with while figuring out one’s sexual orientation. Via this book, we can learn some really important lessons on how to help and provide comfort to people who face difficulty while coming out to their family and friends. Here are some of them:
- Be a comforting presence when in need: Coming out can be extremely stressful. Having a good support system can really help cope with this. Reasurring your close ones that they will always have a comforting presence whenever things get hard is a good way to extend your support. Sometimes, just being there to hold them together through their tough times matters the most.
- Lend your ears to them wholeheartedly: Sometimes, situations becomes too convoluted that it often results in making bad decisions out of frustration while failing to figure things out. That’s why, listening sincerely, especially to your queer friends and by extension to others is very important. It’s okay if you do not have a solution for their concerns. Things that may be easy for you could be complicated for others and hence, listening to them might possibly help them process their feelings better.
- Never force them to try things: Forcing someone to do something they are not comfortable with is not okay. For instance, if a person says that they are asexual, aromantic or aro-ace, accept them for who they are instead of giving them unwarranted advice. It’s the bare minimum we can do!
- Don’t question people’s life choices: Sometimes, people need to make extreme sacrifices to live their lives freely without being pestered about their basic human rights, like their sexuality. Even now, idenitfying with a marginalsed sexuality isn’t easy. So, rather than attacking or questioning people’s life choices, we should offer our non-judgmental support.
Sexuality is indeed a diverse topic. It is like a prism with endless possibilities of someone having a unique sexual orientation. Nowadays, change is brewing and members of the LGBTQIA+ community are fortunately being encouraged to speak about themselves freely in certain parts of the world. Their experiences, thereby help the larger audiences to begin to understand how important yet challenging it can be to embrace one’s own sexuality. These experiences should be shared with the whole world so that people can finally live freely. After all, these discourses help make a change for a better world.