Adulting teaches you a lot of things. It may add some new habits or alter some old ones. For me, adulting has taught me the concept of a ‘solo date’. As we grow old, the demands of daily life often make it feel like an unending race and we cannot always rely on the company of others to share our time. In such moments, the most rewarding choice is to embark on a solo adventure and revel in our own company.
There is no standard definition of a solo date. Simply defined, it is an intentional activity that you do alone. I especially started to enjoy these solo dates once I had come to Delhi for my higher education. The newfound sense of freedom and the urge to explore Delhi motivated me to take my bag and wander around alone and enjoy the many things that the city had to offer.
I have been on a ‘solo food date’ where I munched on one of my favorite dishes, Sushi (finally I didn’t have to share it with anyone!), I had also been on many shopping sprees alone where I could buy things at my leisurely speed. But amidst all the things that I had done for myself, the best one was when I self-gifted sunflowers.
I’ve always loved flowers and how they light up my day. Lately, I have been obsessing over sunflowers, and I blame it all on those Instagram reels that turned them into something like floral celebrities. So, guess what? The other day, I strolled through Khan Market, and there it was – a flower vendor with a bunch of sunny sunflowers just begging to be taken home. Without a second thought, I scooped one up for myself. And let me tell you, the moment I held that sunflower in my hand, I was absolutely over the moon. It’s crazy how a small gesture towards yourself can bring such joy and create a therapeutic vibe.
This got me wondering that being able to enjoy doing things alone, especially for yourself, adds so much to one’s happiness and well-being. Being able to enjoy one’s own company is the best thing we can do for ourselves. Taking up a personal experience, back in my hometown, I could hardly enjoy doing anything alone. I always wanted either my family members or my friends to share my ‘idea of fun’ and enjoyment. Living in a hostel opened my eyes to the fact that everyone’s idea of a good time can be quite different, and it might not always align with my own. That’s why, when there’s something I want to do or a place I want to check out, I’ve stopped waiting around for company and started to embark on the happiness quest alone!
While embarking on solo dates, I have often heard that it will only lead me to feel lonely and detached from everyone, and I will get bored without a company. It is actually not true. For me, solo dates have made me love myself more and enjoy my own company. Until and unless you do not enjoy your own company, you cannot be a good company to other people. If you are bored in your first solo date, it is totally normal. That is because, solo dates are a process, you will slowly start enjoying it once you get accustomed and comfortable to it.
The experience of a solo date may differ from person to person. Some may like the idea of doing things alone, while others not so much – and that’s cool too. Most of us are pretty used to spending time with either friends or family, so going out alone at first might feel a tad awkward. But I believe once you start going out with yourself, you’ll find a deeper connection with your inner self, and that’s where the magic happens. You’ll carve out this space where you’re totally in charge of your own happiness.