The transition from friend to partner can be a difficult transition to make. We’ve all been there before, the oh so cliched crush on a friend who sees you as nothing more than exactly that, a friend. The transition from the ‘friend-zone’ to the ‘end-zone’ can seem impossible, but it isn’t always. However, it isn’t always what you expect either.
So we have all had that one friend we secretly pine over, for me this person was a close friend way back in secondary school. As I would do my best to send out signals, I would always get stuck talking to them about feelings they had, for other people. Although me and this particular crush never got together, they may have been partially my fault considering I never uttered a word of how I felt to them.
So a year later I find myself stuck pining over another unattainable crush, only this time I think why not and go for it. However, it didn’t exactly go as expected, we were a trainwreck of a couple. What you find so cute and endearing as friends like the fact that they are always late and overly childish, can end up being the things you resent most about them as a partner.
Personally, I don’t think the transition from close friend to partner is supposed to be made, it’s one of those things that seems like it should be great, you know each other so well already what could possibly go wrong? Alot. Yes it could possibly work out perfectly like a teen movie where you realise the person you wanted was there all along and live happily ever after, but it could also just as much lead to very awkward ‘I’ve known you since you had braces’ sex and a catastrophic break up.
Especially since breaking up with a partner who used to be a friend is so messy. It’s not the same process of simply blocking them on all your socials and listening to Adele for a week. Cause chances are you will have to see them again, you were friends, you probably ran in the same circles and had the same friend groups. And it’s going to be awkward and messy for your other friends to choose sides too.
This is a discovery I unfortunately made a little too late, after numerous uncomfortable encounters and the unavoidable attending of the same social events. The biggest difficulty with dating a friend is that if it doesn’t work out you have so much more to lose than a partner but also a great friendship that could possible be lost.
So at the end of the day if you think your feelings for that friend are strong enough, then maybe take the risk if you do think it’s worth it, you never know. But be cautious when it comes to transitioning from friends to partners cause you never know what you might lose.