Have you ever felt like you’ve lost yourself in a relationship? ,maybe your partner’s needs are being put before your own or relied on their validation to feel good about yourself. This is more common than you think. The truth is, a strong and healthy relationship starts with a strong foundation of self love.
Self-love isn’t just treating yourself to a facemask or a long walk on the beach – It’s about validating your own feelings,setting boundaries , and realising that your happiness can’t depend on someone else. Prioritizing self-love fosters confidence, emotional independence and better communication to your relationships. Without it, you risk losing yourself,seeking unhealthy validation, or tolerating harmful behaviour. Let’s explore how you can pursue it in a way that strengthens both your personal well-being and romantic relationships.
Self-love builds confidence and allows you to look at setting boundaries, these two actions come hand in hand. Setting boundaries requires the confidence to assert your need, when you love yourself you are less likely to settle for less or tolerate behaviours that are unhealthy or damaging. Emotional independence is another key aspect. While it is natural to love the butterflies in your stomach, we can end up bending over backwards to get it back after a while. A relationship should complement the happiness you already have in your life, it shouldn’t be your only source of happiness in life. Communication is also strengthened by self-love, when you know and respect yourself, you are better at expressing and communicating your feelings and needs while still listening and respecting your partner’s.
You may be wondering how you would know if self-love is something you need to work on, here are a few tell-tale signs. Seeking constant validation from your relationship is a sign you are lacking self-assurance. Validation should come from within, as well as various aspects of your life. Losing yourself in a relationship may stem from a fear of being alone which can double down creating an emotional unhealthy attachment. When your sense of identity revolves around your partner, your personal goals, interests or friendships may become neglected in an attempt to maintain your relationship. This fear can push you to stay in a relationship with unhealthy dynamics and become emotionally dependent. True self-love guides you to preserve your individuality and also become aware that being alone does not mean you are unworthy of love.
Fortunately self-love is something we can nurture. There are practices that we can adopt to build self-love. A simple practice is journaling and self-reflection. A quick and easy activity that can allow you to understand and value your emotions and needs. As hard and awkward as the conversation may be, setting boundaries is a key light to generating self-love, saying no to something doesn’t have to come with a boat load of guilt. Perusing personal passions is great for growing your self-love, you are doing this for yourself so why shouldn’t you be doing things that you are passionate about to achieve this goal! Lastly, highlighting spending time on your physical and mental wellbeing is amazing for self-love, do what makes you feel good!!
While self-love is crucial, it’s important to know when it is being used as an excuse for vulnerability. We must know the difference between self-love and self-sabotage. Using this ‘self-love ‘as a barrier to avoid putting our feelings out into the world is self-sabotage. True self-love for yourself means you don’t need to be afraid of emotional connections.
As a whole, self-love is about seeing your worth, setting boundaries, and maintaining your individuality—whether you’re single or in a relationship. It’s not about perfection, but about fostering a sense of security and confidence that allows you to build healthy, fulfilling connections with those around you. By prioritizing self-love, you ensure that relationships enhance your life rather than define it. The journey to self-love takes time, but every step you take brings you closer to stronger, healthier relationships—both with yourself and others.