One sided relationship: How to tell the signs

Ouch, one sided relationships I know them all too well… But before I dive into a personal therapy session and relive any ptsd I might have I will say that in every stage of life, whether in friendships, romantic partnerships, or even family, relationships play a crucial role in our emotional and social well-being. However, like so many of us come to realise, not all relationships are balanced. Sometimes, one person gives more time, energy, and emotional investment than the other, leading to what is known as a one-sided relationship. I know first hand that these relationships can be particularly draining because they often begin with hope and affection but evolve into patterns of imbalance, leaving one person emotionally exhausted and questioning their worth. BUT I refuse to let my experiences get the better of me so here is my personal guide to recognizing the signs of a one-sided relationship is the first step toward regaining a sense of self-respect and emotional equilibrium (stem girlies I know you appreciate my choice of big words).

A one-sided relationship can be defined as a connection in which one person consistently puts in more effort to maintain communication, provide support, and nurture the bond. But I would personally describe them as hell on earth….. It usually starts subtly, with one person being more understanding, patient, or giving, until the pattern becomes like less of a one time sorry and more of a weekly if not daily argument and recurrence. Over time, the giver begins to feel unappreciated, while the receiver grows accustomed to taking without reciprocating. The difficulty lies in acknowledging that this imbalance exists, particularly when strong emotions or hope for change are involved. Now I will admit I am one of the biggest people pleasers roaming the planet and because of this I tend to let people away with stuff wayyyyy more than I should and this leads to a somewhat selfinflicted snowball effect into finding myself in yet another one sided relationship. Now I say ‘somewhat’ self inflicted because at the end of the day it takes two to have a conversation and that is something I insist you keep your mind on while thinking or reading about this topic. 

One of the most common signs of a one-sided relationship is that communication feels one-directional. The person who cares more is often the one initiating conversations, making plans, and keeping the connection alive. If the communication would cease entirely without their effort, it suggests a lack of reciprocity. I have had time and time again this feeling of dread and a pit in my stomach knowing if I stopped texting we would probably not talk again until longer than I would like to admit. In a healthy relationship, both people are motivated to stay in touch and express interest in one another’s lives so when communication becomes dependent on a single person, naturally it leads to feelings of neglect and frustration, like you aren’t interesting, funny, cool enough anymore or even questioning if you’ve done something wrong. But these feelings are NEVER THE TRUTH OF YOUR WORTH

Another warning sign is emotional imbalance. In many one-sided relationships, one person becomes the consistent listener, problem-solver, or emotional caretaker, while their own needs are ignored. They may find themselves comforting the other person through every crisis, yet receiving little empathy when they are struggling. This dynamic not only breeds resentment but also undermines trust. Relationships are meant to be a space for mutual support, not emotional labor that benefits only one party.

Emotional exhaustion is also a key indicator. Healthy relationships are supposed to recharge us,they bring comfort, security, and joy like a warm blanket, they also should make us feel like this no matter how we are feeling, not just when we’re all in a good mood but also on our bad days too. But when a relationship becomes one-sided, it does the opposite. Spending time with the other person feels draining rather than fulfilling. The giver begins to feel anxious, undervalued, or constantly on edge, as though their efforts will never be enough to maintain the relationship. This emotional depletion often leads to burnout and self-doubt which is something that no one should have to go through with someone who is supposed to love you romantically or not!! 

Making excuses for the other person’s behavior is another subtle yet dangerous sign. I have been there so so many times justifying the imbalance by convincing myself that the other person is “just busy,” “bad at expressing feelings,” or “going through a tough time.” And while I do agree and think this mindset and ability to have empathy is important, consistent neglect cannot be explained away by temporary circumstances. Excuses prevent acknowledgment of the real issue, that one person is unwilling or unable to meet the other halfway.

I know that recognizing these patterns can be painful, especially when love or long-standing friendship is involved, I’ve been there more times than I care to admit, and sometimes can make you (or more specifically me too) question if thats just the type of love you deserve if its the only one that has been given to you so many times, or even ignoring it and holding on, believing that things will eventually improve. I understand the thought and hope that if you give more, the other person will finally see your worth. Unfortunately, this rarely happens. Instead, the imbalance deepens, and the giver becomes emotionally dependent on the hope of change. 

But as this is a guide I also have some tips (learn’t from experience). Always remember the path forward begins with self-awareness. The first step is to pause and reflect: Am I happy with how this relationship feels? If the answer is no, honest communication is essential. Expressing how you feel and observing the other person’s response can reveal a so much, sometimes even more than you might think. A caring partner or friend will listen and try to make changes; a dismissive one will deflect or blame you. If the imbalance persists despite your efforts, it may be necessary to let go. Walking away from a one-sided relationship is not a sign of failure—it is an act of self-respect.

Ultimately, everyone deserves relationships that are mutual, supportive, and fulfilling. Love and friendship should never feel like a constant effort to prove your worth. A healthy relationship is not about who gives more, but about two people showing up for each other in balanced, consistent ways. Recognizing the signs of a one-sided relationship is not only about protecting yourself from emotional harm, it is about reclaiming your right to be valued and loved equally. In the end, genuine connection cannot exist without reciprocity, respect, and shared effort and from the bottom of my heart you deserve that and more divas.