Nice Girl
If you find yourself single for years, you might be letting people walk over you. This is called nice girl syndrome but it can obviously also happen to anyone no matter who you are attracted to.
A post on reddit showed a 29-year-old woman who said she had been single for a number of years and that she “tried online dating apps and I’ve gone on a few dates with guys but they never work out.” She said that guys usually “feed her lies” and that she constantly hears that she’s so nice but still has no luck.
One person commented that if she is “entirely on the other person to the point where you’re exceeding beyond the normal threshold of politeness” then she needs to “do some self reflecting.” This user gave a personal example of how she rejects men for being too nice because it gives off a sense that this person has no self respect.
This user also suggested that she steps back when she’s on dates and pretends to be slightly less interested because they believe it makes men put in more effort to get another date.
However, another user disagreed that she shouldn’t have to change and if she’s just a nice person then its other people’s problem. This user suggested that some people see being nice as a “red flag” and that they have a hidden agenda, perhaps because of past experiences with this.
Crazy Nice Girl
There is another type within the “nice girl” syndrome and this is the crazy nice girl or guy. This is the type that is super nice until the real version of themselves comes out when they have the other person hooked into a committed relationship.
These kind of people are too easy to come across and almost every person has that crazy nice girl/guy ex. They’re too nice up until the break up and they lash out all over social media and reveal their true colours.
It’s only after you break up that you realised they were crazy the whole way through. They looked over your shoulder when you were texting, they wanted to call you for hours on end, they were super worried when you didn’t text back within an hour and they still continue to compliment you after you broke up.
An example is a Reddit post where a guy had been asking this girl (lets call her Angelica) out for years and she rejected him every single time. He then got over it and started dating someone else. Angelica then approached the guy’s girlfriend and basically told her to drop the act because she thought he was dating this girl to make her jealous.
She then texts the guy that she realised her feelings for him and that he should essentially leave Angelica for her. This is an example of the crazy nice girl who can’t bear to see any person happy with someone else.
It’s important to recognise this behaviour in people early on when you start dating and even in yourself. It’s difficult to date between the ages of 18-26 because life is constantly changing, which doesn’t help. But if the stress of dating makes you act like someone different, then it’s best to stay single for a while until life settles down.