Situationships can often feel like a confusing mess. A situationship is an intimate or sexual relationship between two people who aren’t single but aren’t dating. It’s that weird in-between of more than friends but not actually official. And while it can seem “fun” or “chill,” at the time, the truth is, situationships often lower your standards without you even realising it.
If you’ve been stuck in a situationship or keep finding yourself in a low-effort “talking stage,” here are some signs you’re settling for less and why it’s time to raise the bar.
1. You’re taking the bare minimum as a win
Do you get excited just because they finally replied after ghosting for a week? Or feel grateful when they show you the slightest bit of affection? That’s not a romance gal! Sorry to say, that’s bread crumbs. If someone truly cares about you, you won’t have to beg for their time at all or their attention. Love should feel consistent, not like you’re constantly waiting for them to pick you.
2. They avoid (or straight up ignore) the commitment talk
If every time you try to ask, “What are we?” and they change the subject every time or say they’re not ready, that’s a huge red flag. I mean like major red lights flashing! Sure, some people do need some time, but if months go by and they’re still keeping you without an answer, it’s because they want all the benefits of a relationship without any of the responsibility. Don’t let anyone keep you stuck just because they’re too scared and not willing to commit.
3. They dismiss your feelings
Situationships can make you feel like you have no right to ask for more. If you bring up how you feel and they call you “too much” or say you’re “overthinking,” remember, your emotions are completely valid. You’re allowed to want clarity and security. Anyone who makes you feel guilty for caring is not your person and does not truly care for you.
4. They don’t respect your boundaries
When someone truly likes you, they respect you full stop. Period. If they only text you late at night, avoid introducing you to their friends, or keep you a secret, they’re showing you exactly how little effort they’re willing to make. It’s not your job to convince someone to treat you well.
So what can you do if you’re stuck in this situation?
Remember to know your worth. You deserve clarity. You deserve effort, and you deserve someone who isn’t afraid to call you their partner.
Take a step back and ask yourself: Would you want your best friend to be treated this way? Absolutely not, is probably the answer. You deserve real love, never confusion. Also, make sure to communicate clearly. If you want a relationship, say it and tell them. If they cannot give you that, let yourself walk away, cause there will be someone who will.
Always remember, you are worthy of the kind of love that makes you feel sure, consistent, and true. Not fake, dismissive, secretive and makes you question everything every day. Don’t settle for almost, maybe, or “kind of.” You deserve the real thing queen. Â