When it comes to romantic break-ups, there are a million songs, movies, even plays dedicated to that awful feeling. But what about when it comes to breaking up with your friend?
One of the most misleading things the Spice Girls told us was: ‘’make it last forever, friendship never ends’’ because the truth is friendship breakups are a real thing and can hurt equally as much as romantic relationships.
But, how do you know when to let go and break up with a friend?
Signs to break up with a friend
People change and grow – through school, college, just navigating life in general. So, it is natural that friendships will change too. You may bond with someone because you live in the same area or like the same Friends episodes. But as your lives evolve, these may not be a long-lasting reason to stay friends. If you find that you don’t really have much to talk about or reasons to meet up, it may be time to let go.
Having a best friend is said to be the fruit of life but even the sweetest fruits can turn sour. It may happen over several months, but sometimes a friend can change and leave you drained after their company. If something doesn’t feel right any more or you don’t like the person you’ve become when they’re around, dump them. The length of a friendship does not overrule your feelings.
It may take a change of circumstances, like going to different colleges or getting into a relationship, but you might start to realize that you are both quite different. She wants to go and party every Friday but you want to stay in and study for a big exam on Monday. EVen though opposites attract, it can get to a point that you can’t understand the reasoning behind the partying and going wild, the friendship may not last for much longer.
How do I end a friendship?
Take the time to organize your thoughts before discussing them with your friend. Make sure you understand the situation and if this is something you really want.
Meet in a safe place and have a proper conversation about everything. It’s important to discuss your feelings and give your friend a chance to discuss theirs.
Hearing these things won’t be easy, even if you and your friend are on the same page. Avoid placing blame or making someone feel bad – this person was your friend after all.
Just like with any break-up, you should take the time to look after yourself. Breakups are never easy and require time to get your head around it all. Whether this means taking up a new hobby, eating lots of ice-cream, or blasting empowering music by Lizzo, do whatever you feel is necessary. Over time, you will realize it was the right decision for both of you.
Friends will come and go, as you change throughout life and especially in the early years of adulthood. If you’re lucky, you’ll find a true friend, or maybe even a whole group of them, that will stick with you through anything.