There’s no class in secondary school on how to not to be a bad boyfriend or girlfriend. Sure, we get taught the biology of sex, the legal ins and outs of marriage, and maybe we read a few love stories from the 19th century.
But there is no lesson on how to be a decent human being, and in turn, a good partner– that one, you have to figure out by yourself. They say to treat others how you would like to be treated, but that may not always be the case. Everyone makes mistakes, especially in relationships, but sometimes being a bad partner can be one of them.
Here are some warning signs to look for, if you or a friend are in a toxic relationship.
They get angry easily
A toxic person can have a very short temper, and they might get angry with you often. It could be so bad that you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting them. They might be jealous of someone else in your life, or they might not like that you disagreed with them. It is also a sign of a toxic situation if the other person is constantly bringing up old arguments or making you feel guilty for things that have happened in the past.
Control issues
In a toxic relationship, the other person will often try to control different areas of your life – this can be your time and who you spend it with, where you go and when, what you eat, or how you dress. They could be criticising you, trying to make you more like them, or trying to turn you into the person they want you to be, regardless of how you feel.
They invade your privacy
In a toxic relationship, the other person might want to know everything about you. This means they will cross your boundaries to get whatever information they need. This could involve snooping through your things, going through your messages, or even demanding passwords to your social media accounts so they can keep an eye on you.
Trust
If the person is always accusing you of doing something wrong, going behind their back, or betraying them in some way, they are showing signs of toxic behaviour. This can happen even if it isn’t true and you have always been honest with them.
It is important to recognise these signs of a toxic relationship and run! It is even more important for both partners in a relationship to have respect and trust for each other, and not feel scared or anxious. Every relationship requires sacrifices from time to time, but your happiness and self-esteem should never be one of them.
You have the right to a healthy, loving relationship and all boundaries and issues should be treated with the same kindness and respect as you would with a family member or friend. If you can’t find this love in a partner, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. Embrace the single life and take the time to love yourself!