You’re three months deep into another failed talking stage, curled up in bed while crying yourself to sleep, wondering why it keeps happening. Instead of taking time to mourn the situationship you pull out Tinder and start swiping, while simultaneously wiping tears from your face.…
Relatable?
Then, girl, it’s time you take… a Dating Detox.
Here are some of the signs that it’s time for your dating hibernation period:
You’re settling:
You often find yourself on dates with men who are WAY below your standards. You know the type; the ones who are rude to the waiter, (or worse, the ones who are flirting with the waiter). It’s critical that you set certain standards when dating; this doesn’t make you seem like a b*tch, it just shows people that you respect yourself enough to hold others accountable. They don’t have to be unattainable standards. It could be as little as a person who opens doors for you, or someone who is an attentive listener. Taking time out from dating to re-evaluate is key. By setting standards, you acknowledge that you are worthy of love, and it sends a clear message that you don’t settle. And trust me, there is nothing sexier than someone who knows their worth.
You might be Serial Dating…
“How was your date last night with David?”
“David?”
“Yeah, the guy with the cute dog ?”
“Ohhh yes David, I’m going out again with him on Saturday. I was out with Paul last night!” “Paul? Who’s Paul?”
“Oh this guy I met on Tinder, it was okay, I might see him again but I’m actually going on a date tonight with Ciaran”
“Ciaran? That name sounds familiar…is that the guy who likes art?”
“No, that’s Niall, Ciaran and I went on a date a few weeks back. I’m not mad about him but I’ll give it another go…”
If it is a blur trying to keep track of the people you’re dating then you’ve most likely fallen victim to the world of ‘serial dating’. You’re constantly comparing one date to another, which is making it difficult to commit to one person. You could also end up catching feelings for multiple people at once, which isn’t fair on anyone. So, maybe start by reducing dates to once a week, then once a month. Until you find a person you click with.
You’re scared to be lonely
We’ve all had the fear of waking up alone one Christmas morning to a room full of cats and a half-eaten Christmas pudding that was devoured alone the night before… Sometimes the fear of loneliness can ruin our dating life and push us into relationships that cause more harm than good. If you’re dating because you think you need another person to fulfil you then you may not be in it for the right reason. I think relationships should ultimately bring great joy and happiness to your life, but true happiness comes from within.
If you relate to this then it’s time you delete Tinder babe (and Bumble, and Hinge). Get out your yoga mat, book a facial, read some self-love books, listen to a podcast and realise that you are, in fact, THAT B*TCH.
As RuPaul would say: ‘If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gon’ love somebody else? Can I get an Amen?’
AMEN!