Young people have been hit harder than we ever thought we could be during this pandemic. The pubs are closed, our jobs have been furloughed and of course, our sex lives are seemingly on hold until things pick up.
If you were single in March you’ll remember the surge of Tinder matches that hit your phone when lockdown struck in. It was official: you entered a nationwide lockdown, single and with no end in sight. It was as if every single person in your 80km radius had the same idea.
In fact, Tinder CEO Elie Seidman said that users made 12 billion swipes worldwide on the 29th of March, the most the app has ever recorded: just as the world was entering its first ever lockdown in our lifetime.
The pandemic has seemingly weakened the taboo around online dating, since it is literally the only chance people have of meeting someone given the times we are living in. Whilst dating from your own home takes the pressure off having to see somebody face to face it has proven to give its own unique challenges.
Grace, a 22-year-old student from Wexford said that whilst she was getting to know more people over lockdown, “the spark died out faster,” than if she had gotten the opportunity to go on the initial first date.
“I was talking to more guys and getting to know them better in a sense but after a while, the idea of a first date just gets more daunting,” she said. “As time goes on I inevitably just lost interest. You can only ask someone how their quarantine is going so many times”.
Tinder confirmed that daily messaging and conversations did last up to 12% longer than usual in a report published in March when a significant amount of “stay at home,” policies came into effect.
Socially distant dating is a new hurdle for people to navigate and it even has its own set of rules according to the HSÉ: limit yourself to one partner, wash your hands before and after or consider masturbating or “remote sexual activity,” as an alternative. Really takes the sexy out of sex.
Pornhub reported that traffic rose by 17.9% on the 17th of March compared to an average day, the same day Taoiseach Leo Varadkar announced a nationwide lockdown. Obviously with the confirmation that we would all be spending more time alone, people took up the advice of the HSÉ before ever needing to be told.
Aoife, a student in DCU said that she has started a new relationship during quarantine through socially distanced hikes and dinners. Although things are going well she admitted the lack of intimacy has been a strain.
“It feels weird not being able to hold hands, kiss or anything like that initially,” she said.
“You really need to meet someone in person to get their vibe properly. Even though the pandemic made way more people join dating apps, it really doesn’t replace the real thing.”
Aoife added that whilst more people joining dating apps over quarantine might have seen promising, it’s still no match for real, in person dating when trying to make a connection.
“You could be talking to someone from Tinder for ages and when you meet there’s no physical or sexual chemistry.. You don’t get to see those things over text at all”.
As single people try to find their way through the new and tricky dating scene, couples are also finding new challenges and perks to being either kept apart or cooped up at home.
Thirty four percent of couples in the US reported increased relationship conflict and decreased intimacy due to Covid-19 restrictions, according to a Kaiser Family Foundation study of 742 partnered respondents.
Cian Doyle, a 24 year old financial advisor from Wicklow has been in a relationship with his girlfriend for over 5 years. He said the lack of socialising with other couples was the biggest change in this relationship since March.
“The bad thing is you have no one to socialise with other than your partner, where previously we would’ve gone out with other couples,” he said. “Because the two of us are together the whole time now, we’ve learned more about each other we would have beforehand, which is a good thing.”
Cian also said that the change in work lives and routines has also created an extra pressure on their relationship to try and go out together, as he kept working whilst his girlfriend was at home.
Whether or not he felt his relationship had changed, Cian said that their relationship didn’t change but they had to adapt how they deal with things differently to how they did pre-restrictions.
“We’ve been in a relationship for five years before this all kicked off, I wouldn’t like to try and get into a relationship now because you just wouldn’t have a hope,” he added.