Nowadays, we are constantly told to be more disciplined. We’re told to wake up
earlier, go to the gym, run on Sundays, study every day, learn a new language, build
a routine, be productive. Just do more in general.
And hear me out. There is something undeniably appealing about discipline, as it
promises that if we are consistent enough, organised enough and determined
enough, we can become the person we want to be.
But lately, I have been wondering whether we sometimes focus so much on
discipline that we forget to ask a more important question: What am I actually doing
this for? Because there is a difference between being disciplined and living
intentionally.
Discipline is about doing something consistently. Intention is about knowing why you
are doing what you’re doing in the first place. And without intention, discipline can
become another form of pressure, something we learn to do automatically.
It is very easy to create a routine that sounds impressive from the outside, but if
none of those things actually reflect what you value, what is the point? Because the
truth is that we confuse doing more with becoming more.
For example, I have realised that I can be incredibly demanding of myself. Whenever
I feel like something in my life isn’t quite right, my instinct is often to question
everything that I’m doing and add something that hopefully turns into the missing
piece. Maybe another goal, another habit. If I feel like I am not doing enough, I
assume the solution must be to do more and look at what other people are doing.
But perhaps the solution is sometimes the opposite.
Perhaps we need to stop asking, “What else should I be doing?” and “What am I
doing wrong?”, and start asking, “What actually matters to me?” and “Am I actually
doing this for myself?”
For me, what matters is moving my body, but that doesn’t necessarily mean following
the most ambitious fitness routine I can create. It might mean going to the gym,
boxing, stretching, walking or learning to become stronger and more flexible in my
own body. The activity can change, but the intention stays the same.
The same applies to university. I want to keep up with my work and do well, but that
doesn’t mean every hour of my day needs to be optimised. And I want to keep
learning French because it has a genuine meaning to me, not simply because having
another language on my CV sounds impressive.
This distinction has also made me rethink the idea that doing something difficult
automatically makes it worthwhile.
Sometimes discipline means doing something you don’t particularly feel like doing
because you know it matters to you. Studying when you’d rather scroll. Going to the
gym when you’re tired. Practising French when you’re not in the mood.
But discipline can only take you so far. If you are constantly forcing yourself towards
goals that don’t feel like yours, eventually you are going to resent the life you have
created. That doesn’t mean we should only do what feels easy. Intention is not an
excuse to avoid discomfort.
There is a difference between “This is difficult, but it matters to me” and “This is
difficult, and I have no idea why I am doing it except that I think I should.” The first
requires discipline, the second might require some thought.
And I think university is an especially easy place to lose sight of this, as we are
surrounded by people doing internships, joining societies, going to the gym, studying
abroad, learning languages and building impressive CVs. There is always another
thing we could be doing.
But a full schedule is not necessarily a meaningful life.
Sometimes the most intentional decision is to say no to something that would look
good on paper. Sometimes it is choosing the familiar instead of constantly chasing
something more ambitious. Sometimes it is changing your mind because you have
learned something new about yourself.
And perhaps the most important part about growing up and creating our own lives is
not becoming the most disciplined version of ourselves but becoming more honest
about what we want our life to contain.
I still believe in discipline. I think it is incredibly important. But I don’t want it to be the
first thing that decides what my life looks like. Because when you know what matters
to you, discipline stops feeling like punishment and becomes a way of protecting the
things you have chosen.
So maybe the goal isn’t to wake up every morning and wonder what else you can do.
Maybe it is to know what matters to you and if you are making enough space for it.