Somewhere along the way, we started confusing crumbs for a three-course meal. He replies eventually? Romantic.
He calls you “different”? Soulmate energy.
He likes your story? Book the wedding venue.
Be serious.
We live in the era of situationships, mixed signals, and “let’s see where it goes’’, – which roughly translates to “I enjoy your presence but not enough to act like it.” And instead of running, we romanticise it.
We’ve become experts at turning inconsistency into mystery. “He’s just busy.” “He’s not great at texting.” “He’s scared of his feelings.” etc., etc.
Hot take: maybe they simply don’t like you enough??
(Sorry for being harsh, it’s not you, I know you’re a baddie because you’re reading a Her Campus Article)
Here’s the uncomfortable truth, though: when someone is genuinely interested, you don’t have to decode them like a Leaving Cert comprehension question.
We romanticise potential. We fall in love with who someone could be if they just tried a little harder, communicated a little better, healed a little faster. We create a fully developed character arc for someone who can barely text back.
It’s giving creative writing…
And the gag is? The bare minimum only feels exciting because inconsistency creates adrenaline. When someone is hot and cold, your brain treats it like a reward system. Unpredictability feels intense. Intensity feels like chemistry.
Consistency doesn’t give you butterflies. It gives you stability. And when you’ve been conditioned to chaos, stability feels suspicious.
So now the hard part is getting out.
You need to be honest: Honest about what you need. Honest about what you’re tolerating.
Start small: stop over-explaining someone else’s behaviour.
If you’re confused, take that as information, not a challenge. Ask directly. Observe actions, not words. Most importantly, raise the bar quietly. You don’t need to announce new standards; just stop clapping for effort that should’ve been automatic. The minute you choose clarity over chaos; the spiral loses its grip.
We need to stop equating anxiety with attraction. If you’re constantly confused, overthinking, or wondering where you stand… It’s time to run gal. You should not have to convince someone to treat you properly.
So, PLEASE let’s retire the habit of romanticising potential. Let’s stop mistaking breadcrumbs for banquets.