There are different kinds of breakups, whether you and someone were exclusive or dating for a while. Was it that one of you got bored? Was it that distance became an issue, or someone cheated, or someone got fed up of how they were being treated, or a spark was lost?
Whatever the reason was, there’s always a reason for a breakup. You didn’t just one day go “Hey let’s break up just to try it, sounds fun! Love you!”.
It’s easy when you’ve broken up with someone and get in touch with them again, however much time has passed, to be filled with the same butterflies as before. Of course then the romanticised memories come back, and it’s practically impossible to keep the negatives in the forefront.
I believe connections are eternal, you don’t remember everyone who has passed in and out of your life but you do remember those that stayed a while and made you feel something.
Nothing is stopping you from trying again if you want to. Extensive honest and constructive communication is vital if you truly want to make it work.
Remember that people don’t change at their core. Remember that behaviour executed once is more than likely to be executed again. Remember that without proper reasoning for the first breakup, and without proper understanding and forgiveness of that reasoning now, it is going to be very difficult to succeed this time around.
So, can you ever get back into a relationship with an ex? Sure you can! Should you? That depends!
Have you truly overcome the issues of the past? If not, is your ex willing to give you the assets you need to overcome or deal with them? Of course, vice versa as well. You need to be able to feel like the bad guy for a while if that’s a possibility. There will be issues that stick around. You’ll have to find some strength somewhere to power through to get what you want.
You have to be sure it’s what you truly want. Is it just that it’s too hard to move on? Are they still around, maybe you’re having to see them around campus or around town? It’s probably better to deal with the Totes Awky Momo’s instead of getting back with someone you don’t want to be with.
Be logical. Make sure you get outside perspectives. Don’t lead someone on if you’re not sure you want to get back with them. If you feel like you can’t get everything you need from that relationship to be happy and fulfilled, don’t go near it.
On a final note, becoming friends with an ex is a bit of a different ballgame. Life is complicated, isn’t it?
That’s all folks!
Photo by Elizabeth Tsung on Unsplash