It’s still early in the year–you’ve got plenty of time to find a summer internship or post-graduate employment… right? These companies won’t hire you, but you’d rather think about working for a company that doesn’t exist than think about the possibility of not getting hired at all.
Dunder Mifflin Scranton: Who wouldn’t want to work for the “World’s Best Boss?” Michael Scott would be all too eager to impart upon you the wisdom he learned in his Fundle Bundle days… plus, he throws a great dinner party for his favorite employees. Jim’s off the market, but perhaps he could put you in touch with one of his brothers? I can’t imagine that’d be too hard. (That’s what she said.)
Pawnee Parks Department: Leslie Knope would inspire you to do all sorts of great things. If she thinks April is a wonderful intern, she’ll think you’re even better (I mean, as great as April is, she doesn’t do much unless forced). You’d get to meet Li’l Sebastian and play with Champion and eat as many waffles as your heart desires. There are literally no downsides to working at the Pawnee Parks Department.
Sterling Cooper and Partners: SC&P, on the other hand, has lots of downsides. Classic ‘60s sexism and racism abound in the office. But you’d get to look at Jon Hamm and John Slattery all day–and you’d probably be drunk starting at 10 A.M. Pros and cons, you know?
Pope and Associates: How great would it be to work for badass Olivia Pope? It’d be dangerous, and you’re probably not cut out for it, in all likelihood, but it’s fictional, so we can pretend. Cool, now you’re a badass by association.
30 Rock: The best thing about working on TGS with Tracy Jordan would probably be working with Tracy Jordan. It’d be like having a kid but without the responsibility! Just keep up with his entourage, laugh at his jokes, let him win at xbox, and keep him looped on the inside jokes you have with other people. Smooth move, Ferguson.
The Bluth Company: This would be basically the same as being unemployed. I mean “funemployed.” You could do what you want, when you want, and with whichever Lucille you want. Although if she tells you to zip her up, you probably shouldn’t say no.
Jed Bartlet’s White House: Such witty quips. So many brilliant people. The idealism glows.
Frank Underwood’s White House: You know what? Freddy’s ribs are tempting, but on second thought, I like being not murdered.