As of November 23, ABC Family has officially begun their Countdown to the 25 Days of Christmas Countdown. It’s a double countdown, y’all; they mean business. Thus, I thought it appropriate to delineate the Best and Worst Holiday films to look out for this season: in chronological order, here are The Top 5 Best (and Worst) Movies to Watch This Holiday Season:
White Christmas (1954)
Bing Crosby’s crooning tenor has no equal, and Danny Kaye’s persistently goofy nature beautifully complements Crosby’s straight-laced lead. Irving Berlin has created a classic and it belongs on this list. Period.
A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)
The animation is dated, the songs remind me of kids-bop, and Charlie Brown is contemptibly glum, and yet this remains one of my favorite holiday films. Maybe it’s the hopeful message; maybe it’s Shroeder’s magical fingers on his teeny-tiny Steinway; regardless, no holiday season is complete without an evening dedicated to this ever-present Christmas Special.
When Harry Met Sally (1989)
This, dear readers, is the Rom-Com your Beau will actually want to watch with you. Between Billy Crystal’s dry wit and Meg Ryan’s endearingly rigid resistance, there’s a little something here for everyone. Plus, Ryan’s soda shop ‘Fake Out’ is timeless and will never get old. Ever.
Love Actually (2003)
A star-studded cast walks you through a series of beautiful vignettes that will warm even the Grinchiest of hearts. Alan Rickman (Snape) and Emma Thompson (Professor Trelawney) battle through an estranged marriage, Hugh Grant dances (literally) about his office as Britain’s new Prime Minister, and Liam Neeson’s portrayal of a recent widower will bring you to tears. Beware, you will be singing ‘Christmas Is All Around” for the next week, at least.
Elf (2003)
If you like smiling and smiling is your favorite, then this is the film for you. Featuring the World’s Best Cup of Coffee and humans who share an affinity for elf culture, Elf is somehow both classic and Kitsch. It’s impossible not to sing along with the rest of New York City in the film’s cheesy, yet satisfying conclusion; after all, the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.
Top 3 Worst Holiday Movies
Black Christmas (1974)
The first of it’s kind, this sorority-slasher film spawned a lesion of horrific ‘holiday horror flicks,’ not to mention the genre of teen-slasher films, á la Halloween (1978) and Scream (1996). Trademark high-pitched shrieking accompanies the bloodbath left in the wake of a serial killer who has set his sights on sorority row. Ironically, director Bob Clark went on to direct A Christmas Story nine years later; “You’ll shoot your eye out!” suddenly has morbid undertones.
Santa with Muscles (1996)
Hulk Hogan plays a steroid mogul (excuse me, “body-building supplement” mogul) who is concussed whilst attempting to evade the fuzz in a shopping mall. Said mogul awakes from a coma with amnesia and, logically, assumes the persona of a crime-fighting Santa Claus. Who wouldn’t want to watch a glistening, shirtless Santa ward off the clutches of would-be kidnappers?!
The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006)
Here is a classic example of a good idea gone bad. Disney has bled this one dry, my friends, and the resulting film dabbles with CGI-enhanced reindeer, pseudo-science fiction, and overextended ‘Christmas spirit’ metaphors. Back to the Future meets Disney Channel Special in this painful ‘Christmas Classic’.