It’s that time of year again, when F is filled with sophomores and juniors too cool to dress in theme, seniors secure enough to do so, and freshmen who rock those togas harder than anyone else… that’s right: THEMED COURT PARTY TIME. Theme parties are awesome: you don’t have to stress as much about what you’re going to wear, and chances are it’s going to be more comfortable than your typical going-out costume. There is, however, some anxiety involved, such as the deep question: “how the hell am I supposed to dress like Ke$ha when I own collared shirts, preppy dresses, and Jack Rogers?!” (lol I wish I owned Jack Rogers). And then, as the themes keep coming, the recurring comment: “excuse me I cannot go shopping for a new outfit every weekend, especially not one I’m going to wear once!”
NEVER FEAR. There are timeless classic staples that you can use over and over and over and overrrrr. I promise: cheetah print is to theme party as the LBD was to cocktail parties. Total gamechanger.
The Necessities:
1. A Large White (NOT FITTED) Sheet
Toga night is the obvious reason one needs a white sheet (go colored if you’re outgoing and printed if you’re hilarious), but Halloween?! You can be a ghost. You can be a nun. Or what about any pajama/slumber party theme? All of the ladies can go for the lingerie, get creative with the bed sheet (so many directions to go with THAT one), and impress the people who will appreciate your wit!
Me when I just got my toga tied and my last safety pin pops…
2. Animal Print
It really doesn’t have to be a specific animal print, but I would recommend a shirt, dress, or skirt–anything with a substantial amount of cheetahliciousness (CHEETAH! SISTERS!). This will work for any jungle-themed party (of which there are many), any Ke$ha (or anyone like her) theme, and even for those nights you just want to go out looking fierce!
Oh SNAP! Raven’s ready to rage.
3. Tutu & Tiara
It’s your birthday. It’s your friend’s birthday. Your big is getting married and there’s a bachelorette party. Your boyfriend is pledging… or rushing. It’s TODDLERS AND TIARAS and DISNEY PRINCESS (two of my favorite themes). These are necessary items for the ladies because they are SO versatile. And let’s be honest, it’s nice to feel like a princess every once in a while. Just maybe skip the glass shoes…
I cannot promise your moves will be this killer.
4. Plain White T’s
Not the band. And let me emphasize that plural. Not only do these allow your creativity to come through should there ever be a theme you need to DIY for, but they are also so handy for DayGlow/Rave/Life In Color themes. They’re cheap, they come in all shapes and sizes, and they’re always there and always necessary. They also make great layering pieces for when the nights get chillier.
Get creative. Go wild. DESIGN AWAY!
5. Plaid
Speaking of chilly… Everyone needs some plaid. But especially in the deep South and the Way Up North for, respectively, Rednecks and Lumberjacks. Not only can plaid suffice for these lovely themes, but also for any nerdy theme too, just be sure to get one with a breast pocket for your pencils and button her alllll the way up.
They will applaid you. Ha. See what I did there… Moving on…
6. Jorts (aka Jean Shorts)
Not your cute daisy dukes (although those are always welcome…so easy to match things with jean shorts!), these are the cut-offs you see all the guys wearing to show off their thunder thighs (whether or not you really want to see all of that leg). Jorts, again, are great for the same themes as your plaid, for 90s, AND the added bonus of being the perfect legwear for a jorts-themed party. Yes, they happen. And yes, they happen far more often than you might think.
Allows for a lot of movement (rhythmic or not).
7. Neon & Tie-Dye
80s, 90s, Hippies, any of the Rave/DayGlow/Life In Color themes. Madonnarama (can I get a WaHaHo?!)!! The options for these guys are endless. Hats, shirts, and athletic accessories seem to work best under this umbrella as they are the most versatile and readily accessible.
Neon and jazzercise complement each other nicely, don’t you think?
8. The Red. The White. The Blue.
Stars and stripes. America. 4th of July. ANY NIGHT IS AMERICA NIGHT OK?! While I have some reservations about plastering this nation’s flag across your boobs and butt, I do so anyway, and call it pride. Everyone needs an America-themed piece of clothing as the best go-to going out outfit. Although, if I may request, leave the actual flag at home, hanging nicely on your wall. You will end up disgracing it otherwise. I promise.
Be this badass.
There are many other sundries with which you can dress these staples up or down, and if you split the pieces among your friends of the same size, no one will have to take up too much closet space. Not having anything to wear is NOT an excuse for being the lame one who doesn’t dress in the theme. And neither is being a sophomore. Or junior. There are not many times in your life when it is okay to go out wearing many of these things. Embrace these moments while they last!