I recently turned 21 and heard about Three Buck Chuck from a friend. For those of you who have never heard of it, Trader Joes sells a brand of wine called Charles Shaw that is only $3 a bottle, hence the name Three Buck Chuck. I am already mildly obsessed with Trader Joes, but I stopped to think—is this too good to be true?
I am here to tell you that while certainly not the best wine in the world, the $3 wine selection at Trader Joes is varied and certainly drinkable. Here is a breakdown of the 8 Charles Shaw wines that you can buy at Trader Joes for a cool $2.99. If you are looking for a wine connoisseur review this is certainly not it, but if you are looking for an honest review of what is most worthy of your $3—you have come to the right place!
1. Pinot Grigio
Score: 6.5
Notes: Pretty weak (like a watered down juice), but we don’t dislike the taste, a good safety wine if trying to appeal to a large group.
Notable Quote: “This tastes like watered down juice.”
2. Sauvignon Blanc
Score: 7
Notes: Stronger than the Pinot, not much of an aftertaste or really any distinguishing taste, causes us to break out the cheese and crackers.
Notable Quote: “I could get behind this.”
3. Chardonnay
Score: 8
Notes: Very light and fresh, fruity, our favorite white.
Notable Quote: “Wow our wine reviewing vocabulary is not very extensive, let’s just try our best.”
4. White Zinfandel
Score: 4.5
Notes: Very sweet, artificial/plastic aftertaste, comparable to Franzia, like an alcoholic Jolly Rancher.
Notable Quote: “I could drink it, but do I want to drink it?  No.  Would I rather drink water?  Maybe.”
HALFWAY POINT–NOW ON TO THE REDS!!!
5. Merlot
Score: 6.5
Notes: Metallic aftertaste, disappointing despite good reviews, the white wines seemed on par with a $10-15 dollar range equivalent, but there is a difference between the Charles Shaw merlot and a merlot that would be $10-15.
Notable Quote: “I am starting to die out at this point.”
6. Shiraz
Score: 8.5
Notes: Notes of berry flavor, improved significantly with chocolate.
Notable Quote: “Pack up the cheese, WE ARE BREAKING OUT THE CHOCOLATE!” *violent hand motions*
7. Cabernet Sauvignon
Score: 6
Notes: fruity for a cabernet, but flavor does not last.
Notable Quote: “I just don’t like it…I don’t know anything anymore.”
8. Nouveau
Score: 8
Notes: a little spicy, enjoyable aftertaste.
Notable Quote: “Yeah I like this one. And I know it on the second sip, which probably means it’s pretty good.”
Final Thoughts on the Process
“Why don’t they just have one kind of red wine and one kind of white wine? That would just make things easier for everybody.”
White Wine Choice—Chardonnay
Runner Up—Sauvignon Blanc
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Red Wine Choice— Shiraz
Runner Up— Nouveau
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