The Four Stages of Being Asked to Take a Picture

You’re at a party with your people hitting the Two-Step....

...and suddenly a gaggle of girls approaches you, smiling, iPhones extended in their hands. In today’s world, that only means one thing -- they want you to take their picture. Most of the communication is non-verbal. These ladies don’t have to say much to get their request across. In your Ja-Rule-lovin', Juicy-Suit-wearin' days, asking someone to take a picture would involve more words -- maybe a formal introduction and at least a please/thank-you. Fast-forward to 2014, if you’re socializing, without fail, someone will approach you with their smart phone in hand to request their photo to be taken (with minimal words and rarely a please/thank-you to follow). How do girls pick their targets? I look for the weakest of the pack, like a lion; I see you on the outskirts of your group, checking your phone, looking around, slowly sipping, tapping your foot off beat; you’re not feeling this party, which is fine, but I’m going to need you to help me capture this moment. It’s all good when you’re asking someone else, but I this is how I feel when I get asked…

1. Come on, son. Me? You chose me? After all the work I put into this hair/makeup/outfit, does it look like I’m trying to take a picture of you? If anything, you should want a picture of me! It took me 6 minutes to button these jeans/zip this dress. I burned myself with my curling-iron twice. I went on Youtube/Pinterest to figure out my makeup and you want ME to take a picture of you. Uhh…  

2. *Fake smile* "Surrreeeee..." (We here at Davidson are a polite bunch.) I would never say no when asked to take a pic. TBH it’s not even that deep -- I just want to know why you picked me.

3. The demands: I’ve been known to say, "you get what you pay for and I’m doing this for free." You want me to get the shoes? You want me to turn off the flash? You want me to make sure you’re not blinking? Babygirl, I can’t work miracles. Let’s not get carried away with the demands.   

4. Approval: I barely know you, but at the same time I want you to think I’m the Nigel Barker of iPhone pics. Tell me you love me the picture. Let me know when my work here is done so I can continue checking my iPhone, looking around and tapping my foot off beat.