The three-pocket check, or, as I like to call it, the Why Do Boys Get To Have It So Easy? Before they go out, they only need to check three things and are lucky enough to have actual pockets to carry their load. I don’t know about you, but every time I go out I feel like I’m bringing half of my dorm room with me, and either I literally do not have pockets or they have a volume of two square centimeters and could hardly be counted as such.
After a semester of ruminating (okay, jealously fuming) about this disparity I came up with a system. Thus: The Three C’s and where exactly to stow them.
1. CASH
I’m paranoid about carrying my credit cards or debit cards on me when I go out. Not only am I far less likely to show frugality with these plastic demons, but I’m very liable to lose them. That said, however, a lady is never caught without money for emergencies (a Cookout milkshake anyone?). Cash is also far less pokey and obnoxious when you put it (as I suggest) in your bra. Just be wary of paying for things with sweaty cash, you don’t want to be that girl.
The Joeybra: a purse. IN YOUR BRA. If funds are available I highly recommend it, rendering the rest of this article merely a nice holdover strategy.
2. CARDS
ID cards that is. You also don’t want to be that girl locked out of her dorm building in a short skirt during cold weather, and you definitely don’t want to be the unidentifiable girl who can’t get into clubs or parties. Your CatCard and your driver’s license are absolute musts ladies. For ease, I suggest getting a handy phone case with the pocket on the back just for such things.
Lily knows what’s up on the doubly duty phone case–and, funnily enough, that’s exactly what my phone looks like when I try to shove it into “pockets.”
3. CELL
Speaking of phones- this one is an absolute must. What if there’s a change of plans? What if you need to call for a ride? What if you need to look casual by pretending to check texts? WHAT IF YOU NEED TO INSTANTLY INSTAGRAM SOMETHING? And you know what they say about selfies–they’re worth a million words the next morning, and maybe a few groans. Stick this in your boots if you’re wearing them, your bra if you have ample space. Chances are, though, you’ll be holding it most of the night.
Your selfie will never be as epic, but I greatly encourage your attempts!
So we may not have solved the pockets problem. That’s something we’re going to have to take up with Levi’s, Lucky, and (if you’re like me) Target. But we have at least whittled a mountain of “necessities” into a true necessities list. There’s always more to add: lipsticks, condoms, some gum, a diet coke for emergency purposes—and in these cases I offer two pieces of advice. 1. Befriend someone who goes nowhere without a purse and rent out some space in the bag. Pay her back with your glittering personality and by waiting in line for the bathroom together. 2. Get a boy whose pockets are up for grabs. It makes things so easy.