The Starbucks I’m in right now is quiet, which is weird, because Hell’s Kitchen is so loud. It means I can hear the basketball game much better. It’s senior night back home—two of the basketball family are playing their very last game in Belk Arena, newly minted as an A10 court. And I’m here. In Manhattan, travelling alone for the first time ever, wearing my boyfriend’s large, bright red Davidson sweatshirt. “I belong there, okay?!” I want to shout it from the coffee bar, but I don’t think the late-night Starbucks crowd cares about basketball much.
Thus, without further ado: The stages of watching your college team from far far away.
1. ESPNU why are you not loading?!
2. Ok, cool, missed nothing. Here come the boys.
3. Should I turn around and say “SUCKS” when they introduce the opposing team members?
4. No, you’re a normal human being.
5. NO OH MY GOD THEY JUST TALKED ABOUT SOMEONE I KNOW
6. “Hey what are you wearing? Where are you sitting? Yeah, duh I’ll screenshot you if you’re on TV”
7. Wow, it’s loud there. Should I cheer right now? No. No. Don’t do it.
8. **woo**
9. Ok, that’s out of m-HOLY MACKERAL DID YOU SEE THAT JUMPSHOT?
10. Sorry for spilling your coffee Sir.
11. Am I wearing enough red?
12. “Oh by the way, there’s this guy Bob McKillop” Um, national announcers, please don’t (even sarcastically) mention him casually.
13. Ugh, timeouts are stupid when you can’t grab some ice cream.
14. I love this school
15. NO. NO. I’m BLIND, I’M DEAF, I WANNA BE A REF. Idiot call.
16. The guys look really small right now
17. Ugh, why do I ever leave campus?
18. Halftime. Go pee. Ha. Same as on campus. Only minus the adorable elderly fans racing to the bathroom with me.
19. Alright, I’m settling in for real now, it’s refill time on that coffee.
20. It stopped, it stopped loading. Stupid commercials.
21. Ok, a few more minutes. I got this. Calm, cool, and casual
22. I’m stress eating cake ok, this might be better than ice cream
23. Oh my- Oh my God, WE WON!
23. YEAH STEPH CURRY IS YA BOY, MINE TOO. These commercials are so inspiring.
24. Oh game’s over, back to lonely reality of off-campus life