The stage is set. Finals are over, you’re on your way back home, and you’re about to enter a winter wonderland of relaxation and home cooked food. Where’s your home? Somewhere between West Virginia and Louisiana of course. Here’s how it all plays out, y’all.
Stage I: Christmas Shopping
For us Southerners, nowhere is off-limits for finding the perfect gift. Walmart, Kmart, really anywhere with a ‘mart’ at the end is perfect. Just don’t leave us unattended near the toy section…
Stage II: Receiving Christmas Cards
Don’t lie–we all have that weird part of our family that sends out Christmas cards like these.
Stage III: Preparing for Holiday Parties
Quite possibly the most fun part of the southern Christmas season. You get to help bake (and taste test) all the wonderful holiday treats passed down from generation to generation. And unlike some people, we use real butter. Lots of real butter.
Stage IV: Attending Said Parties
Your house is all decorated, everyone’s playing bingo and everything’s peachy until Uncle Tommy decides to bring a Trump chia pet as his five dollar gift…
Stage V: Wrapping Presents
Now, how to wrap a BB gun and banjo?
Stage VI: Christmas Eve
6:00 a.m., it’s time to pull yourself out of bed and go to…CRACKER BARREL OF COURSE! Because they make a real Southern breakfast & you get to look at Dolly Parton CDs while you’re waiting on a table!
Stage VII: Christmas Day
After weeks of waiting, it’s finally here! Pop on TBS for that 24-hour marathon of A Christmas Story, and cozy up with family and friends during the most wonderful time of the year!
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