I love October. The humidity goes away a little bit, leaves change colors, and it’s totally acceptable to use pumpkin in everything. It’s also Halloween, and Halloween brings basic witches. 7 signs you’re a basic witch…
1. You don’t date, you bewitch.
Who needs to go through all of the weird flirting games when you have such defined lips and luscious hair? Bonus points for being able to wave beguilingly with nails as long as those.
2. You don’t judge based on looks.
I mean, never take this too far and – you know – follow your gut instincts about sliminess, but there are great people out there who often get overlooked because well, they don’t look super great and don’t quite know how to talk and converse. Open these little monsters up over a pumpkin spice latte and let the magic ensue.
3. You don’t carry your bag.
Whether you have some underlings to help you out, you’re able to bewitch your bag to follow you around, or you have some ghoul, goblin, or warlock to carry it for you, you are SO much better than carrying all that weight. Hello, you have to hold your cloak closed to ward off the chill.
4. You don’t do mornings.
Let’s be honest, with all of the parties and all of the candy and all of the pumpkin and hot chocolate, you’re not going to want to go to bed… which means you’re not going to want to get up. I highly encourage lounging and sleeping in the mornings. Enjoy the fall leaves from the comfort of the blankets you can now happily place on your bed.
5. You know how to give a good compliment.
You’re going to see a lot of um… interesting…Halloween costumes and it’s going to be really important to validate them and make everyone brim full of confidence because everyone deserves a night to look like however they want and get no shit.
6. You don’t drive… you fly.
I’m sorry, cars are great, but if you really want to feel the wind in your hair you need a broom. Plus, it is so much easier to look sultry. Bonus basic points if you get a Firebolt. Unless you’re going vintage and you want to get an old Nimbus 2000.
7. You’re always yourself.
As the weather changes, you get a chance to re-do your wardrobe and reinvent yourself, if you want to. And if you don’t, it doesn’t matter either! Basic witches know who they are and don’t bother conforming to the truly basic Halloween trends. Don’t go buy a costume, make one. Don’t wear less clothing on Halloween because it’s “expected,” get creative!
Embrace the magic of fall, my beautiful basic witches. And go have some good #tbt movie nights with our old Disney Channel favs.