From personal experience, Davidson doesn’t have the greatest or widest selection of eligible bachelors on the market. In fact, the pickings tend to be a little paltry from where I stand as a single, straight female. But I guess that’s to be expected with such a small student body, most of which is rendered unavailable by their “self-cloistering” in the library. However, what I have noticed is that the boys who are here tend to fall into about five distinct categories. Without further ado, here they are:
1. The “Sensitive-Intellectual” Type
I’ve always said that all I want in a man is a sensitive, understanding intellectual. You can spot them wearing a black turtle neck, likely non-prescription reading glasses, and drinking a Nummit latte. Normally found in some non-descript, cool loft-like area in the greater Charlotte area. This particular brand of Davidson guy seems ever aloof and will likely quote a vague French philosopher at you should you ever be condescended upon to be approached by him.
2. The Crunchy Granola Type
He probably has a man bun. It’s probably greasy. He’s definitely sporting jorts, Chacos, or a combination thereof. He’ll likely get into an uncomfortable political conversation with your father, should you ever choose to bring him home. If you ever date him, you’ll likely go through a vegan phase (which, hey, power to you, I’m all for the vegan movement). His version of a “cute date” is hiking 10-20 miles up a remote mountain in Appalachia. And yes, he vaguely does smell of cannabis.
3. The Overachiever Type
It’s a wonder this Davidson student even has time to date, with his five-class schedule, law school dreams, and various leadership roles in extracurricular activities. In his free time, he trades stocks for fun and is probably way too involved with the TV show Suits. He’ll make you feel relatively unaccomplished, and he’ll hardly have time to fit you in his jam-packed schedule.
4. The Fratty Type
He’s young. He may or may not make questionable dance move choices at court parties. His closet is full of polos, khakis, and when opened, it lets out a distinct “Keystone Light” aroma. He likely wears too much Ralph Lauren cologne and rocks his boat shoe loafers sockless, much to your chagrin. He’s a fun time until he’s ankles-over-forehead puking and/or urinating in a bush around Patterson Court.
5. The One
Whether the one is the combination of all of these guys or none of them, he is the guy you stare at, make awkward eye contact with, and pine after for the majority of your time at Davidson. You may never actually talk to him, or you may end up with him by the end of your four years here. Whatever the case may be, while dating, for some, is a primary focus during their college career, it is by no means necessary to have a happy, fun, and fulfilling college life. So, if you don’t meet the love of your life in college, don’t sweat it! You’re your own beautiful, kind self, and you don’t need NO man to help you realize that.
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