15 Ways We Know You’re a Freshman

The freshman 15 I’m talking about doesn’t come when you take the term “all you can eat buffet” a little too seriously in Commons or when you’re avoiding Baker like it’s the Freshman Plague because you don't want to work out. The freshman 15 I’ve listed here are the mistakes you made that just might have tipped everyone off to your first-year status. But even if upperclassman can’t detect freshmanity like sharks can smell one drop of blood in a million drops of water (and I highly suspect they can sometimes), they would know anyway. Why, because you did this, I saw you, and it made me laugh!

1. You wear a lanyard with your key and catcard around your neck.


2. You humblebragged about your high school accomplishments.


3. You think that “review” means what the name implies.


4. You set your alarm for pm instead of am.


5. You ordered a full quesadilla, realized it was way more food than you needed, shrugged, and ate every last bit of it anyway.


6. You locked yourself out of your dorm.


7. You let your grandparents fill out RLO’s Myers-Briggs test and got matched to a roommate whose personality matched Grammy’s to a T but not so much yours.


8. You brought a girl or guy back to your dorm... 

9. You partied on a Wednesday and had an 8:15 the next day.


10. You did laundry during Saturday night rush hour.


11. You wondered aloud who Steph Curry was.


12. You signed up for EVERYTHING at the activities fair.


13. You lost your Writing 101 essay.


14. You called New Dorm Chidsey.


15. They served it, you drank it.


Maybe after reading this article, you will avoid doing something that you would’ve otherwise done and I just saved Djibouti. In that case, you’re welcome. Maybe you’re thinking, “Thank goodness she didn’t hear about what I did!” because I didn’t tell everyone about your freshman fail. You are one lucky dog. Maybe I just gave you an opportunity to cringe at the ignorance of your freshman self.  Maybe you’re thinking, “Hey, what are you talking about? I didn’t do any of this! I bet you, freshman Her Campus writer, wrote this list based on your own personal experience!” In which case you would be right. But only half-right. I have done ONE or TWO of these things, but the rest were from our fellow wildcats. Wise upperclassmen are shaking their heads.


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