Self-care – it’s that thing that we’re always told to do, but most of us have no idea how to actually go about doing so. The idea of taking time out of my day to take care of myself was never something I had to do before college. Throughout my high school years, there was always someone taking care of me. I had home-cooked meals every day, went to bed at a reasonable hour, and was constantly surrounded by people I could turn to when there was something on my mind, no matter how big or small. However, that immediate sense of care largely disappeared when I came to college. I was responsible for my own meals, there were nights when I had to stay up late finishing up hundreds of pages of reading, and while I still had people I could rely on for support, they were no longer there in-person for me to turn to. The experience was overwhelming and I frequently neglected myself. But in having learned how to manage on my own for the past three years, I’ve also learned a thing or two about self-care.
The first few months of my college career were dizzying, and given the fast-paced nature of 10-week terms, I felt like I barely had any time to take care of my own needs. Worse still, I didn’t even notice the toll that all the work was taking on me. There were days when I would skip breakfast, not having the time to eat before my first class. There were other days when I would skip dinner, not wanting to leave my room to get food when midterms were looming. Instead, I would eat a few granola bars and call it a night. By the third week of every term, my body was exhausted. Yet I didn’t know how to slow down and take care of myself.
Taking care of myself while in college seemed almost paradoxical to me at first. Everyone around me was always busy – in fact, being busy was almost something to brag about. If I were to take a step back, I would feel guilty. After all, everyone else was managing just fine. But when I started feeling sick every other week and could barely stay awake past 9pm, I finally decided to put myself first and give that foreign concept of self-care a try.
Self-care is often advertised as a lengthy process that we all need to find the time to work into our schedules. For me, however, self-care doesn’t consist of extensive rituals every morning or night. Rather, actively engaging in self-care means that I always keep healthy food in my room so I can grab breakfast on my out on those busy mornings. It means that when exams are coming up, I keep my schedule relatively free so that I have time to study and get a good night’s sleep. It means that when there’s a talk on campus that interests me, I plan ahead so that I have the time to attend. It means that in the dead of winter, when the sub-zero temperatures and shorter days are dampening my mood, I take a few minutes to make myself a mug of hot chocolate in the evenings. Self-care is not yet another thing that I need to find time for. Instead, it’s a way of thinking. This way of thinking ensures that I stay healthy and find ways to do the things that I love, even when it feels overwhelming.
For those who also struggle with self-care, know that self-care doesn’t have to be something to plan for. While it’s certainly nice to have something specific that you do to relax every night, if the idea of building that something into your schedule overwhelms you, there are other ways to take care of yourself. Simply thinking about the things that you’re struggling with, whether that’s healthy eating or finding downtime, and then devising ways to overcome the obstacles that are preventing you from doing those things can be the best form of self-care.