First Week Thoughts

I’ve been having dreams of my girlfriend consecutively for a few days now. On the first day of classes, I felt the familiar feeling of depression settling in. I didn’t have any more classes, and I had finished dinner, but I felt so worthless, like I couldn’t do anything without the support of my loved ones, like anything I did was useless. 

    I wasn’t like this before. Last year, I thrived on work (I’m a bit of a workaholic). I left no time for myself to dwell on my insecurities or anxieties. Summer changed me though. Summer brought with it not just sticky skin and humid air but also family, friends, and my partner. A few days before I left for school, my girlfriend and I were at an outdoor mall. After some overly-sweet gelato, she wrapped her arm around mine as we walked back to the car, and she told me, “You are amazing. You will succeed, one day.” For an English major (poet), that was crazy. How did she know I was? Why did she have so much faith in me? I am undeserving of her praise and faith, but that has kept me going for the first week. Whenever I feel like I’m not good enough amongst all the brilliant people, she reminds me that I will always be enough for her.