I am not too sure what my type is, but as I’ve started exploring it, I realize that I subconsciously look for people with traits projected by the media. It’s difficult to say when I realized that I might have a type. Honestly, I thought it was a flex that my past relationships were incredibly diverse. I’ve dated people who are tall, short, blonde, have brown eyes, blue eyes and dark- even Merida red hair. Recently, however, I’ve noticed strange and unique coincidences between the past 4 dates I’ve been on in the last week. I’m now wondering if I am looking for specific traits in people.
Now, let me tell you, I love going on dates. I pick them based on how good the conversations were online. So, even if we do not have a lot in common or there is no overall attraction, I can learn something new. All four dates shared similarities with the Kardashians dating bad boys – see images of Travis Barker and Kourtney, their best friends Machine Gun Kelly (MGK) and Megan Fox, or even the more recent Pete Davidson and Kim. I’m not saying that I go out searching for people who listen to MGK – it just ends up happening to be that way (2 of the dates worshipped the man). These coincidences have become more and more apparent…I can’t help but notice them.
To further explain these similarities, three out of four adored Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993). They each had some form of Jack Skeleton merch (keychains, mini photo cards and one even had him as their lock screen). I was impressed after the first and thought it was a coincidence that I had just watched the movie and happened to ask about it. Then the second and third dates came around and the exact same movie was brought up! By the third date I was pretty confused — even going as far as to mention the other two dates (something I try to avoid at all costs).
But naturally, this isn’t the only coincidence. Two of the people I’ve gone on dates with were passionate about Bo Burnham’s Inside (2021). And after I sang “All Eyes on Me” with the second, I felt a sense of ‘deja vu’ and comfort.
Why do I continue seeing people with the same interests? And why are these same traits displayed by the media?
On dates we tend to talk about our interests and with social media’s algorithms, people who are similar all end up consuming the same things. That’s one explanation I tell myself, at least.
I also like to think that these are not complete coincidences. Maybe I subconsciously look for people with traits I like, no matter how unconventional they may be. I’ll think it’s a great date if the person likes The Nightmare Before Christmas or Bo Burnham. But, if I hear another person talk about MGK without Megan Fox – I’ll get shivers down my spine.
I’m definitely more likely to go on a date if these similarities come up in conversation before. Maybe while looking for my dream person, I will continue to search until all the ‘coincidences’ line up.
We look for people with traits we continuously enjoy seeing in the media – and I think that is what now defines a “type”.