I am an extremely routine-oriented person. I always have been, and I likely always will be. I find myself to be the most productive version of myself when I set plans and stick to them. This means trying to be consistent with the time I wake up, when I go to bed, what time I arrive on campus, and so on. I like to live with a consistent routine. Now, this doesn’t mean I never stray from it. There are certainly days I need a later start or days where other opportunities shake this up. But for the most part, I find myself able to be the best version of me, a much less distracted and much more productive version of me, when I live according to my routine.
This summer however, I had to throw this lifestyle entirely out the window. I have always wanted to be a server at a restaurant or bar. I always felt it was a job I could hopefully excel in. And this summer, I was lucky enough to get hired at a restaurant and bar in downtown Halifax. As excited as I was, I did not realize the toll this job was going to take on my routine-oriented lifestyle.
Now don’t get me wrong, I loved my job this summer. But something no one warns you about working in the restaurant industry is that there is zero consistency when it comes to shifts. The restaurant I worked at was open from noon till 3:30 in the morning, meaning working hours were between 11am till 4am. Within this time frame, there are no set people who consistently worked day shift, evening shift, or late shift. Any day you could be working any set of hours.
Because of this, creating a summertime routine was impossible. Some days, I woke up for work at 9 a.m. because I was opening. Other days, I wasn’t waking up till 2 p.m. because I had to close the night before, and didn’t go to bed until 6 a.m. As much as I kept telling myself I would find my groove, I also was very quickly feeling as though I was losing all control of my life. This was the first time in my life that I didn’t have some sort of consistent routine.
While this may sound dramatic, it truly did turn my life upside down. My days felt so unproductive. Without a routine, I often let the hours of the day go by without doing anything at all. I didn’t know how to motivate myself without some sort of consistency.
Eventually, little by little, I began to set one goal to be accomplished each day. Whether that was changing my sheets, going to the grocery store, or just simply tidying up my room, I began to feel like myself again. I spent a lot of time thinking about this transitional summer, how I could make the most out of this new lifestyle.
What did I realize? Maybe I was putting too much pressure on myself. I wasn’t in school. Yes, I was working, but it was also summer break. Not every day needed to be productive. It was okay if “all I did that day” was go to my favourite coffee shop and journal for hours. I didn’t need to accomplish something to be productive. I just needed to do something that made me feel happy and refreshed.
Some days, that might look like spending the whole day walking around town with friends and taking in the Halifax summer experience. Sometimes, it could also just mean making the time to watch an episode of my favourite show before I left for work. I realized that I had been putting far too much pressure on myself to be the same productive person I was throughout the school year. I needed to give myself grace, let my soul, body and mind relax and reset.
Now that the school year has started up again, have I completely ditched my routine-oriented self? No. I am still the same routine-oriented girl I have always been. Sadly, I don’t have as much freedom during the school year to have these “being productive by making myself happy” days.
However, this summer taught me that it is important to find moments to do so. Maybe I don’t have the hours I once did to journal at my favorite coffee shop, but I absolutely have an extra five minutes to go out of my way and grab a coffee on my way to class.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to stray from my routine once in a while, especially if it’s for something that will bring me joy. I might even say it’s a necessity. Even if I am scheduling a day minute by minute, there is no shame in carving out 45 minutes to watch the new episode of my favourite reality show. In the long run, it will make me a more productive person.
Even on those days that feel entirely unproductive, I try to remind myself that I deserve grace. I am doing my best, even when I’m not.