Let’s face it, relationships are a lot of work. First of all, you have to find someone you are attracted to, hope they reciprocate that feeling and then you must figure out how to keep up a relationship while juggling everything else in your life. Just thinking about dating is exhausting. Not to mention all the work it takes to understand one another.
Most of the time we only hear about red flags in relationships, which can be daunting. We are constantly bombarded on social media with new traits or actions we should avoid in a partner and while this can be useful in certain cases, it also causes us to think negatively about the people we encounter. Instead, we should try to notice the aspects of a person that are good; the green flags, if you will. If you aren’t sure what to look for, check out the list below for a few green flags to look for in your next relationship.
Talk it Out
Every relationship article you read mentions communication in some form, and because of this, we tend to overlook the advice. We all know that we need to talk to our partners, but not always how. A green flag is when your significant other knows how to communicate with you. Whether that be during a fight or on a regular Tuesday. If your partner can keep up a conversation, it is a sign that they care enough to keep you informed. They want to talk to you and tell you about their crazy day at work or about the delicious coffee they got at the new coffee stand down the street. Even the small details of their day they discuss because it is important to them, and they want to share that moment with you. Talking about the small, perhaps insignificant events in life makes it easier to discuss the challenging parts.
Hobbies
No matter how much you might want your significant other to enjoy binge-watching Gossip Girl as much as you do, that may not happen. What really matters is that your partner makes an effort to like your hobbies. If they agree to go on that hike with you, even though they don’t appreciate nature, your partner is showing their affection. They are giving up their time to do something they may not find interesting, just to spend time with you. When someone takes the time to do something you enjoy, they want you to be happy. Typically, when they agree to your activity, your significant other chooses to make your wants a priority.
Active Listening
Along with communication comes considerable listening skills. A green flag in your relationship is if your partner truly listens to you when you speak. Is your significant other asking you questions? Is their full attention on you? Do they react to what you have to say? All these traits are what make someone an active listener. By actually hearing what you are saying, your partner shows they have an interest in you. They want to be able to connect with you and support you. When someone actively listens, they tend to remember important things as well. A significant other shows compassion when they recall that coworker you told them about last week or that Thursday nights are Thai food nights with your family. Your partner learns more about you when they focus on listening.
Give Them Space
An important green flag that doesn’t come up often is when your significant other gives you space. Some people may consider this a red flag, but having space is a vital aspect of any relationship. You are a separate people. You and your partner aren’t tied at the hip. Each of you has your own friends, your work and your family. There is no need to have your partner play a role in each facet of your life. It’s important to have alone time or time spent away from your significant other. Having a partner who understands that you need to have time to yourself is important. Most of the time, needing space is seen as negative as if there is a problem. Humans are social creatures, but we do need time to recuperate and take care of ourselves. A partner who truly understands this concept and gives you space when you ask for it has huge green flags!
There is a multitude of other green flags to look for in relationships, but these are the ones I found to be the most important. Overall, look for someone who wants you to be happy and supports you. No one is perfect, every relationship has problems. These tips won’t change that, however, if you and your partner are constantly working towards being better people, your relationship will be much healthier.