If you are anything like me, I love a good checklist. There is something oddly satisfying about writing down all the things you need to do and then crossing them off one by one. I love the feeling of knowing I’ve completed everything and I can finally relax. But what I don’t love is those checklists that pop up on social media all too often saying stuff like:
- “15 Reasons He’s Not Texting You Back”
- “7 Ways to Know She’s the One”
- “Is Your Relationship Normal? 22 Ways to Tell”
First, let me say that those articles are not an accurate gage of your relationship, no matter what stage you are in. If you and your singificant other have been together for 5 years, just started dating, or have yet to “make it official,” comparing yourself to a checklist is not the way to go. The world is already filled with thousands of unrealistic expectations and you don’t need another one telling you your relationship is not measuring up to someone else’s.
Scrolling through social media, I see countless articles that are simplifiying the meanign of relationship. I see these articles and willingly read them EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. However, after scrolling through the complimentary GIFs and reading the relationship “Do’s and Dont’s,” I always end up feeling weirdly insecure about my relationship and wondering if there is something more I could be doing. I am all for trying to help others by sharing what you’ve been through, but writing “If your bae doesn’t text you for hours every time they go out, you should probably assume they’re doing something shady,” is not helpful. You are smart. Use your own judgement, not advice from an article that is generalizes something that is personal and distinctive.
Articles like these can be fun to read, trust me, I have read handfuls. Although they often have some truth to them, you will not relate to every single point made in the article, leading to feelings of personal doubt and insecurities. It’s important to take those things with a grain of salt and realize that no two relationships are exactly alike, so it’s not fair to you (or your bae) to try and fit that mold. Believe it or not, it is possible to be a part of a happy, healthy relationship that does not meet every single point of “14 Ways to Have a Perfect Relatoinship”, just ask Blake and Ryan (*insert heart eyes emoji*).
So with that being said, I’ve boycotted reading articles that make me feel bad about my relationship and my relationship status. And I invite you to join me. Relationships are hard enough as it is so give yourself a break and leave those articles off your weekly checklist.